Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Black Women and HIV. Stop Blaming The Brothas.


In a world where men are generally held responsible for the actions of women and where this is taken to another level by the so called “black female empowerment bloggers” as it relates to black men, it has been very much noted that black men are blamed for the high rate of HIV infections in black women. Fuel is added by research indicating that most HIV infected black women were infected by heterosexual contact. By looking at it simplistically, it would seem that black men are the culprits, yet looking at it a little deeper shows a slightly different story.

First of all, it has been established through research that only 3% of HIV positive black women can attribute their infection to sexual contact a man who had sex with another man. This makes sense since studies indicate that only around 3% of black men are homosexual or bisexual, homosexual men of all races tend to be exclusively intimate with men once they come out of the closet and so-called “down-low” men usually don’t have multiple female partners (they tend to have one lady and multiple men). Thus, the vast majority of black women never have sex with men who have had sex with other men.

So eliminating gay or bisexual black men, we can see according to this chart that there were 7,340 new cases of HIV infections among black women in 2009 compared to 3,290 new cases for heterosexual black men during the same year. And since lesbian contact accounts for such a minuscule number of infections as to not even register, practically all of these women infected by sexual contact are heterosexual or bisexual. Hence, we can see that there are at least twice as many heterosexual black women being infected by HIV as there are heterosexual black men even when the three percent of black women infected by men who have sex with other men are eliminated from the group.

So what this shows is that a heterosexual black man through random chance is at least twice as likely as a heterosexual black women to have sexual contact with a member of the opposite sex who is HIV positive. Even if we consider those who are infected by intravenous drug use, the number of black men being infected in such a way is fairly similar to the number of black women being infected that way. At face value, this would seem that black women are more of a danger to black men than the reverse as it relates to spreading HIV, but we will be honest and not go there because the disease is spread much more easily from man to woman than from woman to man. This would account for the greater number of heterosexual black women infected than heterosexual black men.

But studies indicate that black women are infected with HIV at 21 times the rate of white women while black men are infected at 7 times the rate of white men. So why are black women not infected at 7 times the rate of white women as black men are compared to white men? Why are black men not infected at 21 times the rate of white men as black women are compared to white women? Why the discrepancy? Here is my theory.

Black women have a greater tendency than other women to seek intimacy with the very type of men who partake in more risky behavior. Those would be your thugs, hoodlums, pimps, players, etc. These are the very men most prone to having high numbers of sexual partners, least likely to use protection and most likely to partake in drug use. It is this tendency, in my opinion, for the bulk of black women to seek out the smaller number of 'bad boy' alpha males and their willingness to share these males as opposed to seeking one on one relationships with more stable, conservative males that contributes to the excessive infection rate prevalent among black women today
.

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

I had thought that straight black men were MIA (missing in action) on this issue.

As a gay black man, I'm glad to see a straight black man's perspective on 'black women and HIV infection' that doesn't blame closeted bisexual black men ("down-low" men) EXCLUSIVELY (or even mostly) for the HIV/AIDS crisis among black women.

Some black people even blame GAY black men (how crazy is that!) for the HIV crisis among black women even though we DON'T have sex with women: I'm a middle-aged gay black man and I've NEVER had sex with a woman in my entire life. In fact, I've never even seen a woman's vagina in "real life".

PS: It would be helpful if you could provide links that support key points in your essay (to quiet the skeptics).

Anonymous said...

Your last paragraph sums up the situation, but that can't be the full picture. I also think there is a race conspiracy some where. Black people aint checking vaccines (for other ailments) sent to hospitals in urban areas to see if any is tainted with HIV. we don't run our own biotech test labs to check on things for our own security. All things are left in the hands of the whites, and some of them hate us like hell. Check this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnNvr9pkOIA

It is said that Bayer knowingly sold AIDS-tainted drugs to other countries, simply to make back their investment. Bullshit. How the fuck did AIDS found its way into any vaccine, in the first place? And what about those bigots with the mind of hitler who have biotech labs and 'a score to settle' with black and other racial groups? You think they aint fuckin with us?

The racists whites in southern africa were doing all manner of things to black people, secretly, to reduce their population and numerical advantage, should there have been an all out race war, fought from house to house. Even if AIDS was found in monkeys, they brought that shit in a lab and weaponize it for germ warefare. They can't fool me.

Anonymous said...

'Black woman empowerment bloggers'? 'Empowering' themselves by hating black men and siding with white men who sell aids-tainted drugs to blacks.. including themselves!??? More like black destruction bloggers!!

Andrew said...

Dear Rocky

You make excellent points. However, they "under report" how many black women use inter venous needles and abuse drugs. They assume just white women use drugs.

If black women are partaking with criminals,hustlers, and pimps. It would make sense they provide them with drugs. Also, the drugs enhances risky behavior black women may participate in such as "anal sex" and etc.

It is disturbing. It is a combination of things that makes their HIV rate so high for some reason. They seem to be sleeping with "high risk men" that they assume "looks healthy". They want the man that "every girl wants". More than likely, you are taking a chance.

Excellent post Rocky but you that topic is like the third rail of blogging.

HR Professional said...

Rocky you get absolutely no argument from me. We know BW are having lots of unprotected sex. Look at the number of abortions they tend to have. You obviously had to have unsafe sex to need so many abortions. Stop it with the condom broke. That lie died in 1999.

This is not to let BM off the hook. BM may not be infected in quite the same numbers as BW because as you said in your post it is more easily spread from Man to Woman. Therefore, I’ve always thought of the spread of AIDS as one might think of the reasoning behind a harem or polygamy. The man who is a polygamist does so to increase his number of offspring. One AIDS infected man can have sex with multiple women and spread his disease on exponentially. Which means, there will obviously be more women infected than men.

Rocky said...

Great points everyone.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous Gay Black Man,

Thank you for your contribution however it doesnt help your case when you have/had a bunch of gay black men doing the talk show rounds stating that every black man they came into contact with from the three piece suit wearing, to the saggy jeans, to the khakis pants was on the DL. Every time a gay black man is talking about his sexual exploits it seems to only be with seemingly heterosexual black men. To be fair it isnt only paranoid black females who are spreading the lie that every black man is on the DL. Gay black men are doing it do for their own vanity.

Kigali

Anonymous said...

@HRProfessional

Right on. Its funny how anytime the issue is HIV/Aids comes up in the black community, black females seem to always bring up down low black men but when they are getting pregnant and contracting other STDs everyone seems to be strictly heterosexual.

Kigali

Andrew said...

Rocky

He brought up the "third rail" of blogging. The HIV topic. I don't even blog about it. Because it brings intense anger and shame.

Most black people do not even take an HIV test because they wouldn't "want to know they have it". Like it would go away, if they ignored it.

However, black women are getting it. It is very troubling for everyone. Because people will never admit the "freaky" things they do in the bedroom and that includes black men.

Someone said it is much easier for Men to pass it on to women. That is very true. It is hard for a woman to pass HIV to men. Especially if a man is circumsized. I read it in some "Health Journal".

As for Gay black men contributing to this topic.

I have to admit some Gay black men bloggers are compelling the way they write in their blog.

When I first started blogging. I tried to find a way to be "interesting and entertaining, as well as informative.

I am not homophobic but those Gay black men bloggers "made it seem" like they were sleeping with "straight black men".

Some even said "they want a straight black man".

They suffer the same delusions sellout black women suffer from. "Straight, educated black men are the PROBLEM.

It is the "constant theme". I never respond to them. They start "accusing you" of being gay. Thus, the argument ends.

It is rare to have gay black men comment on blogs like Rocky and mine.

Julia M. said...

Dear Rocky,

" First of all, it has been established through research that only 3% of HIV positive black women can attribute their infection to sexual contact a man who had sex with another man."
Do you have a link for that? I never knew there was a percent of black men who actually sleep with men and women, and I'm even more shocked by the so call "percent" of women who contracted HIV from them.

National Stats and .org websites don't say which man was having sex with other men and women.
I'm curious about what you references are and how reliable they are. Plus how many black males actually admit they sleep with both? I don't know any openly bi-sexual men.

" So eliminating gay or bisexual black men, we can see according to this chart that there were 7,340 new cases of HIV infections among black women in 2009 compared to 3,290 new cases for heterosexual black men during the same year."
This is new Cases, not the amount of people with them period. Which means these woman contact the disease from a man who already had it, who wouldn't be shown on the chart. Unless he is unaware of his status which would result in him not being a statistic at all.

" But studies indicate that black women are infected with HIV at 21 times the rate of white women while black men are infected at 7 times the rate of white men."
Completely true.

All in All Women are better off than men who has a lower population of us. Black Women over populate black men, as does white women who over populate white men.

" Black women have a greater tendency than other women to seek intimacy with the very type of men who partake in more risky behavior. Those would be your thugs, hoodlums, pimps, players, etc."
I do agree with that. Just to be fair, a Professional Black Male can have HIV just as quick as a thug or some of a lower standard. I don't single them out because of who they and I sure as hell don't put it past any social class. If you're a professional doesn't mean you're excluded from getting it or less likely too.

" It is this tendency, in my opinion, for the bulk of black women to seek out the smaller number of 'bad boy' alpha males and their willingness to share these males as opposed to seeking one on one relationships with more stable, conservative males that contributes to the excessive infection rate prevalent among black women today."
It's a lose -lose situation in this case. Again, A good man could be HIV Positive. Who are we to say all black males who have it are thugs or all black females who have it got it from a thug. You can't pin point which social class is giving or getting it.

I do think that majority of black women get/give it to black men. The numbers don't add up on each side for us to say it's from another race. I do think that both groups need to protect themselves but black men more especially because only condoms can protect both men and women from this disease. No birth control in the world can stop you from giving or getting HIV/AIDS.

Plus getting tested is a must.

-Julia McDaniels

Julia M. said...

Dear Anonymous (Gay Black Man),

" Some black people even blame GAY black men (how crazy is that!) for the HIV crisis among black women even though we DON'T have sex with women: I'm a middle-aged gay black man and I've NEVER had sex with a woman in my entire life. In fact, I've never even seen a woman's vagina in "real life". "

It's good that your an openly gay black man but how many black men do you know who aren't openly gay?

I have a close friend who is an openly gay black male and he has told me that it's hard to be gay in America but to be a gay black male is even harder. He didn't come after till College after he had two girlfriends( he didn't sleep with them). Though there are many men who are, how many do you know aren't?

Larry himself has admit to sleeping with married men and in a recent Carl Weber book an character named Jerome only sleeps with married men. Also there is a transsexual who is giving up names of rappers he(or she) slept with, I believe her name is Nadia.

So I understand your point and I applaud you for actually being open about who you are but I can't believe that every gay American, or Black American is openly gay like that. Not the way the black community is and our attitude towards "sissy" men.

-Julia McDaniels

Rocky said...

Here is the link to that information Julia.

Cumulatively through 2003, three percent of AIDS cases among black women were traced to sexual contact with a bisexual male, compared to four percent of white women, and two percent each among Latinas, Native Americans, and Asian women.[8]

Julia M. said...

Dear Rocky,
Thank you for the link.

For one, they say AIDS. Where is the percentage with HIV? Since there is a major difference between the two. Also this was in 2003 correct? That's over 6 years ago.

This is also of the women who know they contacted it through a bi-sexual man. How many don't know they did? Are they tracing their male partners and finding out who is sleeping with who?

There is also a statement in the paragraph

A young woman may be unaware that her male partner is engaging in these risk behaviors.[3] Moreover, recent research has highlighted the significant risk for HIV infection that ‘being on the down low’ may pose for men and their female partners—regardless of race/ethnicity."

In the first line it clearly address that she might be unaware of the activity. Now for the women who don't know, where is the statistics for them? Is there one?

No, they fall under the risky heterosexual contact.

Also they mention the high risk but they say "may pose" meaning they don't have a number or enough research to confirm that it does.
This though is regardless of race and ethnicity like they said.

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/aa/resources/qa/downlow.htm

Here is a link from the CDC discussing the term "down low". If you notice it says it was a term most affiliated and originated from the African American Community. It's across the board now but originally was a "black" term.

There is also further research being held to find out who's what and how many people are actually contracting the disease due to the risky behavior.

I'm not trying to write black men off as the problem but I think that you should take into consideration the facts and what might be going on here.

I too thought it was all hype but clearly this is around. Head to this blog, Confessions of a Down Low Brother and you'll see this completely different. It might piss you off (it did for me) but it's kind of an eye opener for the Black Community.

-Julia McDaniels

Julia M. said...

Also, Gina Torres is not black. She is a Latino, Puerto Rican and Cuban I believe.

Meaning she and Lawrence Fishburne are not "Black Love" because she isn't black.

Maybe you should put Denzel and his wife instead.

Rocky said...

Also, Gina Torres is not black. She is a Latino, Puerto Rican and Cuban I believe.

"Latino" is an ethnicity, Puerto Rican and Cuban are nationalities. Neither term denotes a race. She is clearly of black African descent/Afro-Caribbean as is the case with many Puerto Rican's and Cubans. Reminds me of how people would claim that Sammy Sosa was not black.

The IR bloggers love to put up pics of Rosario Dawson and what ever white man she is dating because they view her as black.

Rocky said...

For one, they say AIDS. Where is the percentage with HIV? Since there is a major difference between the two. Also this was in 2003 correct? That's over 6 years ago.

Well, since HIV is what causes AIDS, until you can bring evidence that HIV acquired from a bisexual man is more likely to become AIDS than HIV acquired from other means, then it is reasonable to apply that percentage to HIV infections.

And 6 years is generally within the time frame whereas the results of studies still apply.

Julia M. said...

Dear Rocky,

It's idiotic to apply the number to it because your little statistics is based on the number of cases that do advance to AIDS.

No one is saying every case does, therefore you can't conclude that the number will apply to both.
I think you fail to realize HIV and AIDs are two different things. Everyone who has HIV doesn't automatically advance to AIDS.

Magic Johnson doesn't have AIDS but has had HIV for some years now.

Your comments are confusing honestly. You also fail to answer my question. This statistic applies to women with AIDS, not women with HIV. Meaning your statement is wrong and your resources don't back it because they say AIDS not HIV, they are two different things.

You shouldn't manipulate a fact to prove your point. It gives out the wrong message.

As far as the Gina Torres thing goes, put her if you want. Why isn't Denzel and his wife up their though. He is like the epitome of a Handsome Black Male, yet him and his wife aren't on there? But Gina Torres who might or might not identify herself as black(Latinos can bubble in "other" on the census) is?

To end this, I'm slightly disappointed with the blog. I was curious about Black Men voicing their opinion when I saw it on Andrew's Blog List but reading some of your past post, Confronting lies and distortions is really suppose to be "making excuses and rebuking". My definition of confront might be different than yours. I've yet to see you actually confront something, all I've seen are excuses and complaining.

Maybe I've set my standards for blogs too high, to read something enlightening is like asking for a four leaf clover.

Nonetheless Good Luck with it.

-Julia McDaniels

Rocky said...

Julia, we were not dealing with an absolute number, we are dealing with a PERCENTAGE. No one is saying that everyone with HIV will have full blown AIDS, but logically, if HIV infection is the only means by which one acquires AIDS, then it is reasonable to conclude that if 3% of HIV infections are obtained a certain way, then 3% of the full blown AIDS cases would have the same origin even if the overall cases of AIDS is lower than the overall cases of HIV infections.

You would have to show evidence that acquiring HIV from a certain source makes it more likely to become full blow AIDS. Otherwise the 3% would apply to HIV and AIDS.

And are you telling me that we are not confronting the widespread lie that innocent black women are being infected widespread by some abnormally large number of secretly gay black men? You have not heard or read the BS about so many black men being gay when in fact, black men are no more likely to be gay are bisexual than any other group of men. Yes, we are confronting the lies and distortions.

Rocky said...

Oh, and I didn't post Denzel's pic because he was being portrayed as the only example of a good traditional African American man who married and stayed married to a darker skinned woman. So I posted others. I may add him one day, but not because of anyone's pressure.

Andrew said...

Actually

White men have the highest homosexuality rate.

But somehow black men are the "cover story" for "downlow".

They never seem to have stories about downlow white men.

It wouldn't be far fetched to say "down low white men" give black women HIV. Considering the high poverty rates of black women. Survival sex can be just as deadly.

Again, the media wouldn't want to ruin a white man's reputation. Even though, they are known to frequent prostitutes and engage in risky behavior.

Anonymous said...

@ Julia M

"To end this, I'm slightly disappointed with the blog. I was curious about Black Men voicing their opinion when I saw it on Andrew's Blog List but reading some of your past post, Confronting lies and distortions is really suppose to be "making excuses and rebuking". My definition of confront might be different than yours. I've yet to see you actually confront something, all I've seen are excuses and complaining."
-------------------------------
You're a sell-out liar! Rocky has done quite well putting forward intelligent arguments on the topics to rebut the distorted bigoted garbage about black men. You want to belittle him and discredit his claims by summing up his opinions as merely 'excuses and complaining'. But what can we expect from a jim jones baby mama? Gave birth yet?

Anonymous said...

@Kigali
Do NOT judge ALL gay black men by something you saw a gay black man say on a talk show. I wouldn't judge all straight black women based on the black women that appear on, for example, the Maury Povich (sp?) show.

I haven't watched the Maury Povich show (or the Jerry Springer show) in years (are they STILL on the air?) but I recently saw a MP segment on a blog where a black woman who was a preacher's wife admitted she had sex with 200 men(!). Am I (and everyone else who saw this segment) to assume that this black woman (a preacher's wife, no less) is a "typical" black woman? When I used to watch the MP show (years ago) he often did shows where a black woman would come on and name the "alleged" father of her child. The "alleged" father would take a paternity test to determine if he was the biological father of her child. Oftentimes, the paternity test would reveal that the alleged father was NOT the bio dad. The man would often yell at her and call her names. The black women would be humiliated and cry, sometimes hysterically. Were those black women "typical" black women? Don't judge an entire group by what you see on a talk show. BTW, Kigali, your comment on 2-26-10 at 9:43 PM shows you look beneath the surface of things.

Try to get to know at least one gay black man IN REAL LIFE (if you haven't already done so). Failing that, at least visit some of the gay black men's blogs. You might learn some "stereotype busting" things about us.

@Julia
The gay black men I socialize with on a regular basis are exclusively GAY.

Yes, the black community is EXTREMELY homophobic (as are all other communities I've ever heard of but you mentioned the black community) and I have paid a price. The name calling is relentless and painful. It takes a certain toll. It hurts even more that others see/hear the abuse and say/do nothing (thus giving their silent approval). I want to point out that this is why the so-called "down-low" exists: homophobia is the ROOT CAUSE cause of the "down-low". However, I have ALWAYS lived an authentic life and if I could do it all over, I would do it the exact same way.

PS: Sorry it took me so long to get back to you both but I wanted to think about my response before I actually responded. BTW, the "down-low' is not just a "black thing". There are white men on the "down-low". Remember the gay former governor, Jim McGreevey?

Gay Black Man

Anonymous said...

@Gay Black Man,

Yes I have known some gay black men in my life. I appreciate your prospective and I will also admit that it is a money making scheme to be that gay black man letting every black woman know that their man may have been with him last night. Oh geez.

Now I am sure there are black men on the down low but we must also be aware of the fact that you can be on the down low and not be having sex with anyone. I say that because if you are gay, you cant be forced, not even homophobia can force you to be with a member of the opposite sex.

Kigali

Menelik Charles said...

Julia M said:

I'm slightly disappointed with the blog. I was curious about Black Men voicing their opinion... but reading some of your past post, Confronting lies and distortions is really suppose to be "making excuses and rebuking".

My definition of confront might be different than yours. I've yet to see you actually confront something, all I've seen are excuses and complaining.

Menelik asks:

1) can you please, please, please can ONE example which Bro Rocky has raised and NOT confronted?

2) can you also give me a list of all the other blogs you contribute to on a regular basis?

Thanks

Menelik Charles
London England

Menelik Charles said...

Anon said: March 1, 2010 5:03 AM

You're a sell-out liar! But what can we expect from a jim jones baby mama? Gave birth yet?

Menelik asks:

Bro/Sis is this language really necessary?

Menelik Charles
London England

Anonymous said...

Women have been the bane of our existence since the day that our planet supported life.

PacMan

Menelik Charles said...

Julia M...are you still there? About my questions, dear!

Menelik Charles
London England

Anonymous said...

You're a sell-out liar! But what can we expect from a jim jones baby mama? Gave birth yet?

Menelik asks:

Bro/Sis is this language really necessary?

Menelik Charles
London England
----------------------------------
Yes, the rough language is necessary. Can anyone read this blog from head to toe and sum it up as merely 'excuses and complaining'? That's a major disrespect.

- Anon black man

Julia M. said...

Dear Menelik Charles,

Everything

It's all excuses to me. Take responsibility for what goes on in the Black Community. Confront it and give suggestions on how to solve it,stop shifting the blame over to someone else.

Every Blog is like "It's not us, it's them ".

So you're not confronting what's going on. You pushing it to the side.

It gets boring and predictable. I read the first couple of blog post and I was like "Okay, stop your crying."

I openly talk about the flaws of Black Women because we do have some but everyone does and I think if you want to confront them, you shouldn't don't write them off on someone else.

Nothing on here is enlightening and I've yet to say "Yeah, your right maybe I should look at it from a different perspective".

Why are you so interested in where I post?

I enjoy the Huffington Post Blog (go figure), I won't give you my screen name but that's where I'm at daily. I also comment on other blogs daily but they're smaller ones and the name of them is none of your business.

Your question is pretty "stalker-ish", don't cha think?. Why anyone wants to know where I post is besides me.

Sorry If I didn't answer fast enough for you. I don't exactly have time to go around and check the replies to comments I post on every blog.

Also Anonymous (Gay Black Male), I didn't forget about you.

-Julia McDaniels

Menelik Charles said...

Rocky said:

The PURPOSE of this blog is to address & expose the the exaggerations, fabrications, distortions & misrepresentations of black men by a minority of black women who frequent the World Wide Web.

While these women far from represent the average sista, the web does give them a voice for their demagoguery. Let's show the world just how absurd they are".

Julia M said:

I'm slightly disappointed with your blog. I was curious about Black Men voicing their opinion... but reading some of your posts, "Confronting lies & distortions" is really suppose to be "making excuses and rebuking".

Menelik asks:

can you please, please give ONE example which Bro Rocky has raised and NOT confronted?

Julia M replied:

Everything

It's all excuses to me. Take responsibility for what goes on in the Black Community. Confront it and give suggestions on how to solve it,stop shifting the blame over to someone else.

Menelik replied:

"everything" is NOT an example, Mrs M, I asked for but ONE concrete example.

Anyway, if you said these same words to those so-called 'Black female Empowerment' they'd bloody well crucify you! But you wouldn't, would you Mrs M?

Indeed, I suspect that the only blogs in which you seek to bait others (e.g. Rocky's a fraud, I'm a stalker) are those involving Black men in committed relationships with Black women.

How odd is this, Mrs M? Very odd in my opinion; very odd indeed!

Do you ever feel you've missed out on something Mrs M? I mean, like, something kinda natural?

You see, there's an enormous difference between a Black woman opening her options, and those naive sistas' picked off by white boys before they ever knew what there options were!

Still, there are ways and means of having VICARIOUS relationships, and all their attendant dramas' aren't there, Mrs M?

Menelik Charles
London England

Julia M. said...

Dear Menelik Charles,
"everything" is NOT an example, Mrs M, I asked for but ONE concrete example."
The blog on divorce and the black man. The first thing he mentions is his black mother and how she is to blame for black mens' divorce rates. Instead of taking responsibility for the fact that women divorce black men for whatever reason, he writes it off on his black mother.

Sounds like he is pushing the blame over to someone else. A couple can get divorced because they feel out of love, he/she cheated or they simply just had to many problems but no, the one reason he post is about his mother?

Both articles were written by a blogger, none of them had concrete evidence other than personal experiences. The one on Italian mothers had one doctors who concluded that but I don't take the word of one person.

Let's not forget the newspaper article that's from the 1940's! Over 60 years ago!

" Anyway, if you said these same words to those so-called 'Black female Empowerment' they'd bloody well crucify you! But you wouldn't, would you Mrs M?"
What does Oranges have to do with Apples?

We're not talking about those bloggers, we're talking about Rocky. I posted my opinion on their blogs. Whether or not they actually approved the comment is out of my hands. You seem to be familiar with these blogs, you should know more than me that they are famous for not approving comments.

Therefore you don't know what I said to them because if it was something that gave a "negative" opinion on them, it's more than likely not going to be accepted and allowed on the blog.

" Indeed, I suspect that the only blogs in which you seek to bait others (e.g. Rocky's a fraud, I'm a stalker) are those involving Black men in committed relationships with Black women."
You can suspect what you want Mr. Charles. I read and post on other blogs therefore my comments on one (or two) isn't exactly enough to come to that conclusion.

I don't know who you are dating/married too. I could honestly care less, my opinion of you and this blog is not based on your relationship status.

As far as you and the "stalking" goes, I think it was boarder line. How many people over the internet ask some they don't know, for a list of blogs they read and post on?

Why would you want to know where I post at? A question you failed to answer last time I asked you it.

Yet you expect me to just post where I comment at without an reasonable explanation as into why you want to know.

" Do you ever feel you've missed out on something Mrs M? I mean, like, something kinda natural?"

Something Natural? What exactly is something natural that I missed out on?

I don't regret anything I've done in life so far. There is stuff I want to try but it's pretty age appropriate and I have time to do so.

" You see, there's an enormous difference between a Black woman opening her options, and those naive sistas' picked off by white boys before they ever knew what there options were!"
Please elaborate more, what is the difference between the two?

" Still, there are ways and means of having VICARIOUS relationships, and all their attendant dramas' aren't there, Mrs M?"

What kind of vicarious relationship would I be having?

Menelik Charles, you're talking in riddles. If you have something to say, just come out and say it.

-Julia McDaniels

Menelik Charles said...

Menelik asked:

can you , please, please give ONE example which Bro Rocky has raised and NOT confronted?

Julia M replied:

The blog on divorce and the black man. The first thing he mentions is HIS black mother and how SHE is to blame for black mens' divorce rates.

Menelik asks:

when did Bro Rocky talk about "HIS Black mother and blame HER for Black men's divorce rates"????

Menelik said:

I suspect that the only blogs in which you seek to bait others (e.g. Rocky's a fraud, I'm a stalker) are those involving Black men in committed relationships with Black women.

Julia M replied:

You can suspect what you want Mr Charles. I read and post on other blogs therefore my comments on one (or two) isn't exactly enough to come to that conclusion.

Menelik replied:

which is exactly why I asked how many blogs you posted on! I wanted to form an educated opinion as to why you were bashing Bro Rocky, that was all.

Julia M said:

I don't know who you're dating or married too...my opinion of you and this blog is not based on your relationship status.

Menelik replied:

I think you can safely assume that Bros Rocky, Laurelton and I are all hooked up with (and committed to) Black woman!

Menelik asked:

Do you ever feel you've missed out on something Mrs M? I mean, like, something kinda natural?

Julia M replied:

Something Natural? What exactly is something natural that I missed out on?

Menelik replies:

is it natural, for example, for Black folks to take responsibility for what goes on in the Black community?

Julia M said:

Take responsibility for what goes on in the Black Community...stop shifting the blame over to someone else.

Menelik replies:

I guess that answers my question Mrs M!!!

Julia M said:

I don't regret anything I've done in life so far.

Menelik said:

there's an enormous difference between a Black woman opening her options, and those naive sistas' picked off by white boys before they ever knew what there options were!

Julia M asked:

Please elaborate more, what is the difference between the two?

Menelik replied:

you are the difference, Mrs M!
Legend has it you were a virgin when you met and married your white hubby, Mike! And now you are pregnant with child. Not much option now, is there?

Menelik said:

there are ways and means of having VICARIOUS relationships, and all their attendant dramas, aren't there, Mrs M?

Julia M asked:

What kind of vicarious relationship would I be having?

Menelik replied:

why, my dear, we're having such a relationship right now...and all the drama too lol

Menelik Charles
London England

Julia M. said...

Dear Menelik Charles,

" when did Bro Rocky talk about "HIS Black mother and blame HER for Black men's divorce rates"???? "
As in Black Men, not Rocky specifically. I said the divorce and the black man, than I mentioned his (black men) and his mother (black men's mother), not Rocky. I see I must word things differently, some people need a clear indication of who and what I'm talking about.

" which is exactly why I asked how many blogs you posted on! I wanted to form an educated opinion as to why you were bashing Bro Rocky, that was all. "
I didn't bash Rocky as a person because I don't know him. He could be a nice guy but I feel his blog isn't what it's made up to be. It has nothing to do with my personal feelings toward him.

Also you shouldn't say "educated opinion" , a more appropriate phrase would be "in -depth analysis" but that's how I would say it.

Oh and an opinion rarely involves some type of research. It's something one feels/thinks, information or research isn't need to form it. Plus, I'm sure your opinion of me was formed way before you asked me for the list of blogs I read and comment on.

" I think you can safely assume that Bros Rocky, Laurelton and I are all hooked up with (and committed to) Black woman!"
I don't assume things when it comes to people. As I said before your relationship status is irrelevant to me.

" you are the difference, Mrs M!
Legend has it you were a virgin when you met and married your white hubby, Mike! And now you are pregnant with child. Not much option now, is there?"

What does that have to do with anything. I got married to Michael over 4 years ago, I had a baby less than a month ago. Now unless you're pregnant for 4 years, I don't see how we jumped from one thing to another. What does me being a virgin and getting married 4 years ago have to do "no options"?

" why, my dear, we're having such a relationship right now...and all the drama too lol "
When does having a debate equal a relationship? If I'm correct the definition of relationship is a connection, association or involvement.

Why you consider a debate some sort of relationship is beyond me.

If this is the case though I must have relationships with over 60 people. You have the Anonymous, people with screen names and never mind the mothers and blog owners I chat with via-email. The mothers alone is a good 10!

Let's forget the fact that I've yet to meet any of these people in person and I don't know their face from the next. More than half of them don't even know my e-mail address yet we're in some sort of relationship?

I don't know what they teach you in London but you're so all over the place, I could barely understand your "Julia M said....Menelik said" style of writing. It seems pretty botched up and you write in riddles all the time.

I apologize in advance for this statement because I know it's kind of rude but I just feel the need to say it. You're like one of those people who want to "sound smart" but in reality aren't. That's the vibe I get from you, like you want to sound intellectual with all of your riddles and off remarks but in reality it makes you sound nonsensical.

Again, I apologize because my comment was rather vulgar. That's my opinion of you and I didn't need a list of blog to form it. I could be incorrect but it will stand until I am proven wrong.

-Julia McDaniels

Anonymous said...

The CDC has released a report showing that 48% of black women have genital herpes. Who (or what) are black women, and their apologists, going to blame this shocking statistic on?

Julia M. said...

Dear Anonymous,
"The CDC has released a report showing that 48% of black women have genital herpes. Who (or what) are black women, and their apologists, going to blame this shocking statistic on?"
Yeah, I saw that. I'm waiting for more information to come out but something about it just sounds wrong. I want real numbers, not a percentage based on a survey that less than 10,000 people took.

National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey conducted this.

Which says a lot to me because I didn't participate in it, and how many black females did participate?

It's a shaky thing, they used a survey with a small amount of people to represent a whole population. In my opinion that doesn't count, I will accept the fact that women have it at higher rates than men but to tell me 1 in 2 black females have it between the ages of 14-49 is honestly crazy.

How many black parents allow their child to participate in a national survey? Also how many minors know they have herpes or even been tested?

I read that 1 person represents 50,000 individuals (approximately). So if 1 person has it, 50,000 other people have to it too?

Says who? That one person?

-Julia McDaniels

Anonymous said...

This is anon March 10, 2010 10:14 AM again:

I just wanted to point out that 48%of black women having genital herpes is important for this post because herpes can make an individual more susceptible to HIV/AIDS infection.

Andrew said...

Yea, I read the 48 percent thing.

Unfortunately, it might be higher. I disagree with Julia.

They number is usually higher in a survey because some women will not admit it or "do not" even know they have it.

It is bad all around man. It is rather disturbing and a bit sad at the same time.

I have never been a womanizer but 1 out of 2 black women with herpes. You are really gambling out there.

The sexual behavior patterns of black women is real eye opening.

This is what happens when the "men to women" ratio is skewed. More black women take risks with the "same type of men" regardless color.

A man that hardly "got anything or not even a job". Sure don't give a fuck about himself.Why would he care about giving herpes to women? A woman that is struggling will keep these "men around" just to feel safe and wanted.

Everybody going to blame black men. This can't be the result of just black men. This is impossible.

Zindzi (aka Black Girl Pain) said...

You're right. BW aren't getting AIDS from "down low" brothas. That's a lie that continues to cost us lives. They're getting it from whorish straight black men. Unfortunately, these Black women don't enough respect to leave these "men" alone.

Julia McDaniels: Thank you for bringing some truth up in here. I know folks want to act as if BW are totally at fault for this because they're dealing with obviously trashy men, but your class & education level have NOTHING to do with your AIDS status. A lot of educated bm are biggers whores than the thugs because they know they're in a minority.