Friday, August 28, 2009

Men/Black Men as Mules????????????

The simple love of a husband coming home, seeing you tired, and offering to go get Chinese food. Or looking over, and seeing your blond husband happily doing your baby's hair-and watching her smile up at her daddy. Or the car breaking down, and being able to pick up the damn phone and say: "Honey, come get us, the car broke down!' So many sistas have no idea how good life can be when you have a good man to share it with. Not a parasite, who's sponging off of you, and sucking the life out of you, and depending on you to do everything for him. But a real man to lighten the load. Someone who can give you the freedom to be a WOMAN- because he has taken the responsibility of being a MAN!!
This is a quote from Sarah in her latest blog. I find it quite interesting because of how telling her statement is. Observe that what constitutes a man's love is servitude. Nowhere does she discuss the pleasure of a man holding her hand, looking into her eyes, placing a rose in her hair, sharing intimate thoughts with her, expressing his feeling to her, etc. etc. It's all about "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY!"

Understand that back in the 1950s when marriage was commonplace with black men as well as all men, there was far less priority with men lightening a woman's load. What was prioritized was men taking on "manly responsibilities" while leaving "womanly responsibilities" to the women. Men back then did not hardly comb their daughter's hair, cook dinner, clean house, etc. Of course, practically all men today and in the past would go pick up their women if their cars break down. Sarah either takes some imaginary story or the example of the lowest of the lowest ghetto thug (the kind that so many black women adore), and applies it to all or most black men.

Those men who married quite often in the 50s were far less likely to kiss their women's butts than men today, yet married quite more often. They proudly took on the responsibility of heavy lifting, bringing home the bacon, caring for the lawn and physical structure of the house, yet adamantly left the job of childcare, dusting, cooking, cleaning, washing, etc. to the women. So why do today's black women define love by a man's servitude? The answer comes down to one word. LAZINESS.

There is basically an epidemic of laziness among today's African American women. This laziness often manifests as the epidemic of obesity that permeates among black women. Sure, they will argue the point of how black women are "shouldering the load of the black community" but what this really translates to is that a whole lot of black women actively and absent mindedly participate in creating situations where they are single parents. Beyond having to adjust raising children alone (something that all women of all races would equally adjust to), many black women are physically lazy. Of course their are plenty of black women who are filled with energy, but an overrepresenting number of black women live sedentary lifestyles.

Such women place great priority on viewing men as mules and workhorses, yet generally don't respect men who given in and allow themselves to be such mules and workhorses. This is where the clash comes in. Black men tend to have big egos and the average black man would prefer to resist a woman's demands than to give in and lose her respect. Black women are drawn to such men, yet a few are drawn to the men who would give in for they seem to find more comfort in a man who gives in and loses their respect than a man who stands his ground. These are the women who seek white men. This is Sarah and her crew. That is the black woman on Wife Swap whose white husband served her hand and foot.

Marriage is at such a low point today because a man's happiness in marriage is far lower priority now than ever before and this is exaggerated in the black community. Sistas today have become so self centered that black men see little positivity in marriage. It's as if marriage is a male obligation and that there is no need to win a black man's heart. With women, it is often a case of marriage filling a void and whether the marriage will be a quality one or not takes a back seat to this void being filled. Men on the other hand don't have a void that needs to be filled by marriage. They must be motivated to marry mostly by the prospect of marriage bringing greater happiness to their lives. It is false to say that these men are not marriage oriented. They simply are not oriented to marriage to women who want to marry, yet really don't value marriage. No man wants to marry women who play the game of tesing their men daily and not respecting their men when they relent to the daily demands involved with such daily testing.

Our grandfathers married women who were socialized to please their husbands and studies have shown that our grandmothers were happier than the women of today. Black women have drank the feminist cool-aid by the gallons and in the process, have contributed to the destruction of the black family. What a black man are looking for today is
someone who can give you the freedom to be a MAN- because she has taken the responsibility of being a WOMAN!!

What her statement also makes me think of is how my father used to comb my sisters hair. It's shameful that his efforts throughout our childhood is not valued by her because my father's hair is black and nappy. These women are sick.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

"Are Black Women Teaching Their Daughters to Be Mean?"

I found this interesting post on another blog from about 9 months back and I found it very interesting. Quite often, certain black women will often try to justify the common aggressive attitudes exhibited by many black woman (definitely not all) by saying that such attitudes result from all of the drama they have to go through with black men and the black community in general. The flaw in this is that such attitudes are prevalent at a significantly young age; such an age whereas there have not been enough time for any significant experiences. Thus evidence suggests that these girls don't just develop such attitudes through experiences, but are taught such attitudes. Here is the blog article:

My 4 year old son is attending school for the first time. His school is very diverse and apparently four year olds are very touchy feely little people. They just like to hug. Well, my baby is quite popular with the girls.

We recently went to the Pumpkin Patch and one particular little girl was all over my baby. They were holding hands and hugging. She followed him everywhere he went. On the hay ride there was another little girl that was really upset and very vocal about it. He had not played with her. My son is African American while his chosen playmate of the day was white and the little girl with the attitude was Asian.

Later in the day, I asked my son about the African American girls in his class. I asked him if he played with them. His response has started an ongoing discussion in my family, so I wanted someone else’s opinion. (And I know I will get plenty here!) My smart and intelligent four years old said, “The brown girls are mean. They don’t speak and only want to play with me when I am playing with the other girls.” My husband says that he is right.

What do you think?


What's further interesting are some of the comments:

Comment by Verona Wiltse on October 27, 2008 at 9:42am Yes Kym, I have a 15 year old grandson, he's very tall and handsome. The school that he attend all his life is predominantly white with mixers of Blacks, Asian, Spanish, arabs etc. I have always noticed that the girls that calls or I see him with are White and Spanish. When I asked him about the Black girls in his school, he said and I quote. "Grandma, they are mad scary". When I asked what do you mean by that. He said they are loud in the hallway and always fighting. I try not to look at them, they may want to fight me.
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Comment by KimSyne on November 5, 2008 at 4:19pm I have a 13 year old daughter who has been talked about and mistreated by black girls. The problem is that they don't like or appreciate "different". My daughter has worn dred locks for the last 5 years. These kids said that she was trying to act African. When she talked what they considered "proper", they called her an oreo. They couldn't make up their mind what she was they just knew that she was different
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Comment by Germaine on November 5, 2008 at 5:03pm Yes I know what you mean, I live in an apartment complex where the black girls here walk around in groups. My daughter being new to the city and area trying to make friends was called fake. She is the only one here I see would embrace a white girl and play with her and then as soon as they see this either they try to come play also or just be plain nasty to them throwing rocks and dirt. It has also gone to the point where if there is new black girls and if they see them playing with my daughter they would do anything to interfere with them playing together I get annoyed and when I talk to the parents of the children either they sound uninterested or just smile.
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Comment by alwysaldy on February 23, 2009 at 7:23pm Your 4 year old has a point.
So does the other posters. Children learn by example and by influences at home. I agree children will mirror what they see. I start up conversations in the store in the bank in our neighborhood with "anyone". My daughter sees it and she does the same. My daughter was raised in a very diverse community. Her school was majority white with asian, samoa, hispanic, mid eastern etc. she was the only AA in her classes from pre-school to 2nd grade. From Colorado, to Florida, to California.

My baby is dark complexion. In the whole time she was in school not one child teased her about me or her being different complexions. They asked her if I was her mom and after seeing us together saw she was my twin.

We moved back to CA and she's in a majority AA school, with some hispanics. She is teased, by the AA girls about being a different complexion than her mom. About her hair, when I braid it with conditioner and take it down in the morning for her to wear it crinkled to school. She always got compliments before about her hair. She has been teased about being "real black" with "nappy" hair. I have never asked her if the boys say it. She has always said it is the girls
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Comment by Joan Wright Lewis on July 20, 2009 at 11:00pm
My daughters attend schools that have mostly white students. They tell me the girls that gets into fights and are mean to them are black girls. My oldest said her school was peaceful with just a handful of blacks. Then the following years more blacks came into the school. Now the school hired security guards in the school. She said black girls pick fights with her, and other girls. She now see fights with girls pulling each other weaves out of their heads. They speak very loud and they meet after school to fight someone. For goodness sakes, they are in high school, she said. When are they going to grow up


So the big question is how does this impact the way that boys view them and how these boys will view them when they become men. Note that one of the final disputes Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover had to endure before his suicide was a dispute with a black girl who had threatened him.

Many black men would probably agree that as children, the most intimidating individuals were the black girls. Black girls can be extremely hard on and degrading to young boys. These boys are often quite intimidated by these girls who generally have physically matured earlier and are often bigger. The problem is that once the boys reach puberty and develop testosterone fueled aggressiveness, this intimidation turns into aggressiveness. Thus, you have the often aggressive demeanor many black men have for members of the opposite sex. It is the bi-product of the aggressiveness shown toward them by girls in their youth. Look at the two videos below:

Video 1

Video 2