Sunday, May 30, 2010

The "Tom Willis Syndrome"

With the recent break-up between Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubrey, I have given a bit more thought to something I have long noticed about the dynamics commonly involved in relationships between black women and white men. It is something that I have pinned, the “Tom Willis Syndrome”. As anyone who tuned into The Jeffersons back in the day would clearly have noticed, Tom Willis was quite submissive to his wife Helen. His response to her raising her voice to him was a quick “yes dear”. It is interesting that even 30 plus years ago, this dynamic between white men and black women who are married was prevalent enough for it to be represented on television.
Much of the rumor mill indicates that there was a similar dynamic between Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubrey. The most prevalent example is her passionately and blatantly kissing other men on stage without regard to his feelings and rumors suggest that she likewise disrespected him in other public settings whereas he simply took it in stride. Such rumors didn’t exist with respect to how she treated the black men she was with before. Quite simply, it is doubtful that David Justice, Westley Snipes, etc. would take such disrespect in stride.

It’s not so long ago that we witnessed a rather demanding and lazy black wife on one of the “Wife Swap” shows whose white husband waited on her hand and foot and did all of the work around the house while she remained in an inclined position. It didn’t seem to bother him at all. Another episode of such a show showed a staunch conservative interracial couple whereas the black wife was EXTREMELY vocal in her views while the white husband simply remained quiet. Likewise, not too long ago, we witnessed a black wife state on national television in front of her white husband how much respect she had lost for him simply because he was recently out of work due to this current bad economy. The husband didn’t even try to defend himself. We saw how Tiffany “New York” Pollard dominated and disrespected the winner of her second reality show, George “Tailor Made” Weisgerber (who had already married one black woman before).

Now this is not to say that white men are passive in relationships. What this is referring to are those white men who tend to seek relationships with black women, especially the less than 1% of white men who marry them. These men seem comfortable with taking the passive role in relationships with domineering women, and see black women as a prime source for such dominance. While black women tend to not respect passive men, they tend to remain in relationships with passive men for long periods of time. They may treat the men poorly and even mess around on them (such as tongue kissing other men on stage), yet they are less inclined to leave such men and such men are content to be dominated by such women. This is in all likelihood why such relationships last longer than average. On the other hand, when such women are with dominant men, they respect those men a lot more and show such respect, yet the inevitable routine friction causes such relationships to not last as long. The fact that the effort of gaining respect from your woman may break you and your woman up is a dynamic quite prevalent in relationships with black women. Such is the irony.
A good example of the tendency of certain white men to desire domination at the hands of black women is the number of videos on Youtube showing “mixed wrestling”. These are basically videos portraying the sexual fetish of men purposely being physically manhandled by women in thong bikinis. Notice that such videos seem to always include white men and a disproportionate number of them involve black women.