Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Ciara's "New Boyfriend" according to Sarah

You know, I really have to point this out because I got a good laugh out of it. I was lurking around Sarah’s blog and noticed her most recent picture of a celebrity black woman with her new white boyfriend. What she showed was Ciara with her “new boyfriend Amar’e”. I stared at this picture of Ciara on the beach, in a bikini walking by an apparent white man a few feet away from her. I thought that I had gone crazy. Ciara is dating “Amar’e”, yet “Amar’e” is Amar’e Stoudemire, an NBA basketball player who is without a doubt BLACK. The problem is that there are several pictures of Ciara and Amar’e on the beach with a few of her walking without him. If you scroll down, you will see that on one, she is shown walking past a somewhat chunky white guy with a hairy back. This is the guy that Sarah has given Amar’e Stoudemire’s identity to. What Sarah did was take one look on this website and jump to conclusions without scrolling down. Did she even think to wonder if there could actually be a white man named "Amar'e" or whether the guy on the picture looked remotely like he could be playing for the Knicks?

So I began to question whether Sarah is just that absent minded, that overanxious for such pictures, or just that dishonest. Then I recalled that she posted a picture of Holly Robinson Peete with her “new love”; a white man whom she had taken a picture with.

Now most of us know that Holly has been married to Rodney Peete for years and they have a family. I looked for any news on a divorce or break-up and found nothing. Then I went to Holly’s Twitter page and read tweets from mere hours before whereas she discussed the current happy goings on between her and her husband Rodney.

I later read posts on Sarah’s comments section informing her that Holly and Rodney were still together, yet she REFUSES to take the picture down.

So what it comes down to is this. If you are a black female celebrity and you take a picture with a fan, friend, etc. who is a white man or if there is a white man close by you in a picture, that is YOUR MAN in Sarah's mind. The desperation of IR bloggers is incredible. Sarah would take joy in the break-up of a wholesome black marriage to satisfy her agenda, even if such a break-up is only in her imagination.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Are Black Women Gold-Diggers?

Black women have commonly been accused of being gold-diggers. We hear and read it mentioned in practically every list of complaints leveled against black women in general by black men. Black women and others who disagree with this accusation seemingly have a very good defense against it. They quite simply point out the numerous instances of black women in relationships with black men who have little financially. So who is right?

Well I will say that the easy defense against this accusation exists for one important reason; that reason being that the accusation is NOT TRUE. Black women are no more likely to be gold-diggers than any other group of women and probably less likely. Is the accusation a mass fabrication by black men? Are black men en masse delusional on this point? My answer to both of these questions is NO. This statement is not a fabrication nor a delusion, but rather a misnomer.

Black men refer to black women as gold-diggers for lack of a better term to describe the dynamics between black women and black men as it relates to finances. Many simply know of no better term and many may avoid the true term due to it being even more incendiary than “gold-digger” (I will state this term later). “Gold-digger” has simply taken on a sort of layman’s definition with regard to black women and in attempting to discredit the label, black women use the most standard definition for the term’s non literal use.

So the question is one of exactly what are black men referring to when they call black women “gold-diggers”. Black women are notably great spenders and poor savers. Whether it relates to hair care, beauty products, consumer electronics, brand name clothing, gifts, tithing and general depreciable product spending, black women are leading the way. It is quite often that black women view money as being there for the sole purpose of spending it as soon as possible. This is why single black women have the lowest net worth of any group ($5.00). Of course, this is a generalization and individuals vary, but this trend is significantly more prevalent among sistas.

Now as any man knows, women tend to feel that their men are obligated to contribute to their spending habits. Thus, once a woman has depleted her personal resources, she then eyes her man’s resources and if allowed, will deplete his. Resistance by the man often prompts the well known shaming tactic of calling a man “CHEAP”. No man likes such a label and it is the avoidance of this label that causes many men to give in to contributing to their women’s unwise spending.

When a man simply doesn’t have the money to contribute to his woman’s spending habits, she then puts pressure on him to get it. She harasses him about demanding a raise, tries to convince him to look for a higher paying job or pushes him to take on a side hustle. Such women will sometimes turn a blind eye to their men’s illegal activities if such activities provide the means by which they can continue their materialistic pursuits.

If a man fails to contribute to his woman’s spending habits for whatever reason, the result is almost always friction. He will have little peace and harmony in his life and the chances of a break-up or him being cuckolded rise considerably. Financial issues are one of the top reasons for divorce and financial disputes tend to go beyond simply not providing family necessities and into the realm of not providing for the materialistic needs of a particular woman.

Men understand these dynamics and black men experience these dynamics to a greater extent than other men. Black women don’t set their dating and marriage standards around income any more than any other group of women and probably have lower income standards, yet once in a relationship, black women tend to try and draw blood. It is this drawing of blood that black men are referring to as “gold-digging”, but this, as stated earlier, is a misnomer. It’s an odd dynamic and I would actually find it more benefiting for black women to actually gold-dig than to do what can only be described as “blood-sucking” (a term that would probably bring about more anger than “gold-digging”). If black women did more gold-digging, it may serve as motivation for young black men to prepare themselves better for financial rewards.

But for some reason, black women are very open to men who don’t have much, yet try to force such men to find a way to provide for their materialistic desires and if such men rise to the occasion, their women up the ante so that no matter how much money a man makes, his woman will try to get more out of him than he has to provide.

White and Asian women, on the other hand, tend more to go for the professional guy who will have a fairly high income and they will reap the rewards of this high income WITHOUT trying to push the guy to spend above his means. This avoids much relationship friction while still garnering financial rewards and a more stable financial future for the both of them since they will actually save some money. Such women are actually gold-digging, yet they seem benign because they are not constantly at their men’s necks about spending money. This is why the true gold-diggers are less likely to be referred to as such. Hispanic women tend to, like black women, be open to the low income guys, yet they seem far more content with the simple, less materialistic lifestyle.