Saturday, March 6, 2010

Demanding Love and Commitment

In 1981, Jennifer Holiday demanded that "you're gonna love me" and "I'm not going" in the the Broadway musical, Dreamgirls. Later on, Beyoncé asserted that "if you want it then you should have put a ring on it". Does it not seem that in modern times, a man's love, dedication, commitment, etc. are all things that women demand or are things women challenge men to do? Has the art of winning a man's heart been totally lost?

More commonly today and to an an even more exaggerated extend within the black community, there seems to be great priority in snagging men through pressure. Men are expected to yield to the pressure to marry women they impregnate even if those women have won no more feelings from these men than sexual arousal. Men are supposed to marry women because women "deserve" to be married or because men are obligated to marry them. Men are supposed to marry women even if doing so sacrifices their happiness and emotional well being. Many women feel that they must force men to respect them as opposed to winning men's respect. They feel that they must force men to accept responsibility as opposed to helping create an environment that inspires men to accept responsibility.

Today, men are no longer the kings of their castles. They generally don't even share the rule. Women rule the nest nowadays even when a man is in the house and they don't rule it based on being deserving, but rather by fighting a battle that their men overwhelmingly cannot win. Men hate to argue with their women, especially with the irrational way that women fight and argue. Such arguing and discourse is stressful for men while women seem to strive on it. So men give in and become resentful. Such resentment manifests in the passive aggressive ways so many women complain about and prompts men to keep their eyes open for ways out as soon as something they feel is better comes along.

Back in the day, women were socialized early on to be good wives. When a guy impregnated a woman, he could be reasonably confident she would make a decent wife. Nowadays, a man has no idea what he will get. Pleasing a man is currently low priority for women and often seen as demeaning. Men are viewed by women as unemotional creatures who are available to be verbally and physical beat up at a whim, yet when men allow such abuse, the women lose respect for them. So a man has a choice of being looked down on by his woman or fighting her to a degree that endangers the relationship. It's a lose-lose situation. Men are more and more avoiding such nonsense and women, in common irrational form, can't see this for the world and routinely accuse men of being immature and non-committing.

Black women, specifically, seem to have larger egos than other women; egos that are almost male-like. Such egos make any type of submission to their men or any type of catering to their men's egos out of the question while these same black female egos are satisfied when they demean their men. It is not uncommon for black men to be cursed out by their women even when not deserving of it. If a black man complains, he is asked to "man-up" and take it, yet if he takes in in stride, he is viewed as a punk. Making a suggestion to a black woman is commonly interpreted as telling her what to do and often results in a firm "nigga, shut up". Hell raising is a common response by black women to anything they disagree with. Black men are not supposed to have any feelings, any needs, any desires, opinions, wants, etc. in a relationship unless they are thugs or players. Thugs and players are treated like kings, yet rarely make good husbands and fathers.

Winning a man's heart should be first priority. Not trapping him with pregnancy. Not throwing the coochie at him from the jump. Not starting the relationship by throwing your kids off on him under the guise of a packaged deal. You should inspire him to love you through sweetness and supporting his efforts to be a man. Show him that when he comes home to you, he will come home to comfort. In a world of 5 billion, the only importance a man has is the importance he has within his own home. Support him building his own personal castle and he will love, protect and provide for you till the end. Leave the male-like egos behind. They are quite unappealing.


Andrew said...

That is very true.

It is quite a contrast on why white women and Asian women "get ahead". They don't battle men. They are passive aggressive and usually get what they want.

If most men, have this "idea" about you, you have to work to change that about yourself.

Some of these women think they are "entitled" to marriage simply being a woman. You have to work on being marriage material. It is simply not just going to happen for you.

It would also help not to burn bridges with your "own men". White, Asian and Latin women DO NOT do this.

It might be a lost cause.

Anonymous said...

On one of those "female empowerment" blogs it was stated that men were responsible for there huge number of black children being born out of wedlock because they refuse to marry their pregnant girl friends. I mentioned, though it was never posted, that I believed such a suggestion sounds like entrapment.

They are trying to lure these men into their lives permanently by having children with them. They cant secure a commitment/marriage through marriage so they use paternity. Its actually an ingenious plan.


Menelik Charles said...

Bro Rocky,

please read this extraordinary statement below by some deluded fool over at Youtube:


Only in the Black community is a...woman with a PHD, house, car etc. considered a bad catch. Many Black men avoid this type of woman like the swine flu.

Among other races she would be high on the list of eligible women. These women go on to date and marry wealthy... men who want an accomplished woman on their arm.

Menelik says:

I think the evidence shows that many/most women of phd-level education (who would tend to be in the late 30s & 40s) are busy panicking about their biological clocks, and desparately searching around for a donor!

The notion that such women are "sought after" is utter nonsense, and, in this person's case, a complete lie!

These are the kinds of lies and distortions about the alleged actions and intentions of Black men your blog is designed to confront and dispel.

You're doing good, steady job Bro. I doubt Mrs Julia M will appreciate it though lol

I mean, God forbid Black men should have the audacity to defend themselves when being attacked macho Black females lol

Menelik Charles
London England

Rocky said...

Brotha Menelik

You should refer that individual on Youtube to this article.

Anonymous said...


Those PHds have probably been married for years before they were awarded their PHd.


Anonymous said...


No, I think they should read this article.

"Guys: a word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career.

Why? Because if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat and less likely to have children. And if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner. "


Andrew said...

This is my thing.

Social Scientists go off numbers. However, they don't understand the struggle professional black women go through that can't be measured.

I don't advocate a woman limiting her education just to have a steady marriage. However, black women should learn to pick and choose their battles. Battling professional black men is a losing cause. Simply to say all professional black mrn want non black women, BET models, and light skin women is a defeatist attitude.

Black men don't complain when you want a 6ft5 black man with a good career. Sometimes the only requirement is his "height" in most cases for black women.

Jane Fonda married Ted Turner a male chavunist. Apparently, she gave up the "feminist cause" to be with a man with a sketchy past and deep pockets. White women are the epitome of a contradiction.

Make no mistake, white women want a man that "has more than" they do. They will take a risk on a man "that" other women overlook if he has an "upside", Such as earning potential and etc.

Tiger Woods is the prime example of a nerd that white women "saw the potential in". He dated white women his whole life. I doubt black women even noticed Tiger Woods until he reached "stardom".

Tiger Woods felt "entitled" he said. That means white women was stroking his "ego". He was dumb to think these women didn't factor money as a criteria for "liking' him. It is really sad "how they turned on him".

They felt "comfortable" enough to try and bring him down. I figure if Tiger Woods get back on his feet. They would be open to spreading their legs "for him again".

But they won't "pass up the free money" off the fame of sleeping with Tiger Woods.

That is why it is frustrating to see black women whining and complaining on the "sidelines".

You got to "take what you want" in this world. Do you think these "other races of women" are sitting back on "ANY" man with potential?

You are just giving away your poker hand.

Menelik Charles said...

Hi Kigali,

I was really shocked at what our republican, pro-Black, schiziod, matriarchal sista, Von, said about you over at here blog here:

Von said:

I've read some of your comments on other sites Kigali and let's just're evil as hell. Even I would question your motives...not so much because you're married outside your race but because you seem to have a fierce hatred of AFRICAN AMERICANS (particularly AA women).

It would be a different story if you were as polite on those other sites as you are here, but often that is not the case.

I read this one comment where you were calling AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN "dark butts." I mean can't blame them for thinking you're a JUDAS or some crazed white person.

Menelik said:

not for one minute do I take her word as gospel but do please enlighten us as to what the hell she's talking about.

I stopped posting there ages ago - not least because she deletes comments and abuses people who disagree with her.

Menelik Charles
London England

Anonymous said...

"Simply to say all professional black mrn want non black women, BET models, and light skin women is a defeatist attitude."

It's not just that "all" professional black men want non black women, BET models, and light skin women is a defeatist attitude.
Black women, like Karen Langhorne Folan, also say there are 3x as many black women pursuing a college education (or actually have at least a 4 year college degree) as there are black men in that category.

BTW, is that '3x as many black women in college as there are black men in college' claim actually correct? People throw that figure around and nobody seems to challenge it.

Bellydancer said...

I tell you this any woman who has several children by a man , lives with him, cooks for him, sexes him up and has been doing this for years should be his wife or she is a damn fool!
For all those men whining about being pressured to marry since they don't want these women demanding love and commitment , should not be demanding dinner, sex and any other thing that black men seem to like getting without reciprocity. You don't want me to be your wife then don't have me acting like one then!

Anonymous said...

A lot of women have attitudes these days. And a lot of men cringe in fear of these women.

I still remember Rocky's link to a video in which a loud young girl pushed and beat a patient young boy.

Andrew said...

Menelik London

You put me on to "that woman" saying give her a chance.

London , I tried to tell you what the deal was with that strange girl Von.

I don't read her bullshit. That is why is blog is failing miserably.

You can't ban everybody that disagrees with you.

She is a weirdo.

I can't even say she is a sellout. She is just a weird wannabe conservative.

Republican Conservatives don't really about black people's opinion because they hardly get voted from them. I will not call them racist but they don't give a damn.

Nor do the Democrats. Anyway, I am heading out.

My neighbor is a Congressman. I told him I would help him with election. I don't care that much for him but at least " I know what I get this with this democrat".

Plus, He is a good "connect" for when I move to Florida and find a "new job".

Just Some Black Guy said...

Rocky, do you allow articles from guest bloggers? I'd love to write for this blog (upon approval, of course). I'll try to see if I could write for Queens, too...

--Don't worry, you've been to my blog before. Hopefully you remember...

"I would like to see a fine and pretty woman filmed with a hidden camera and walk down the street as opposed to actors. Such films as this tend to exaggerate to a great extent. A real life film using a hidden camera and microphone would say a lot more, yet I'm not familiar with such a film." (November, 2009)

I'm trying to keep things simple with this new moniker. I don't want this to clash with what MY blog is about, which is why I ask if I could have them posted here. I have a lot of interesting theories.

Thanks in advance.

Menelik Charles said...

@ Bro Andrew,

yep, you were right about her, that's for sure! I really couldn't get how very wrong I was about her; really I couldn't. Especially since my area is psychology lol

Still, one lives and learns!

Menelik Charles
London England

Menelik Charles said...

Bro Rocky & interested parties, check out this "debate" between myself and Julia M going over at Rocky's previous post:

It's really something, I can tell ya lol. I'll post my reply to her's soon.

Menelik Charles
London England

Untouched Jewel said...

I would have to agree with Belly Dancer. Why are black men complaining about being demanded about getting married, when they are demanding their live in lovers to be like wives without the title? How fair is that?

I'm not saying that much of what black women say or do ain't our own fault, but I read a comment of one man that stated that white, latino or asian women don't put pressure on their men. Damn right they don't. THEIR PARENTS DO IT FOR THEM! Ever heard of "shotgun weddings"? White folks did that the moment their white daughter got pregnant out of wedlock. Never, EVER have you heard of that from no black families. Latino and Asian families do the same, too. Better yet, other races put far more pressure on a man to marry the girl who got pregnant or would disown her if she wasn't married due to bringing the family shame.

See, some black men get things so misconstrued, because they are too busy "not seeing the forest for the trees". They are not looking at the bigger picture. In my honest opinion, black women are far more lenient about love and relationships, because we put up with far more crap than anyone else.

The reason alot of women of other races are getting what they want, not because they are submissive or passive-aggressive. They are getting it by being demanding in subtle and less evasive ways to those who aren't watching too closely (i.e. black man or any man of any race). How do you think these women of other races are snagging up these athletes? They are doing more than just grinning up in their faces when no one else is paying the slightest bit of attention. They are like lionesses on the sneak attack aiming for a gazelle as their next prey.

And I'm sorry, but how can a black man tell me as a black woman I can't pick and choose whom I want from the dating pool, but will be picky as all outdoors about the eye candy he has on his arm?! Hell no. Just like the old church song: "Go sweep around on your front yard, don't come sweeping around mine". In other words it means, don't tell me what I should be doing when you should be taking a good in the mirror at yourself. Until black men can understand that black women feel they way they do when it comes to love and relationships from the opposite sex, nothing can be said about how we as black women voice our opinion on oblivious things we see on the outside looking in. What black men fail to realize is that we see potential in our men (whether we are noticing it right away or not). We are not running out trying to find the next cash cow to pin our children on like alot of these white girls are doing, by sneaking into hotels with these athletes. Didn't Kobe's foolishness give you any kind of indication that it wasn't a sista in the room with him when she "claimed" he raped her? Didn't Steve McNair's untimely death give you an indication that it wasn't a sista who shot and killed him, because he got what he wanted out of her and was about to throw her away like yesterday's trash, while his wife and children lived six blocks away with no clue of what was going on until his death? NO! Hell, did slavery and the Jim Crow eras teach you anything?

If black men haven't gotten it by now, then I don't know what to tell y'all other than get a clue. It's not about the demand itself to "put a ring on it", it's about appreciating what is in front of you.

Anonymous said...


Ok, yes I have used to term "dark-butt" but I used it within a context. I didnt like how all these vengeful black females were gloating over Yung Berg's miseries after he made that comment. No one cared that all these black men who are robbing him and beating him probably agree with his use of the term ""dark butt and are just after him because he is an easy target. Not for his comment.

My point was that black females know how to utilize the violence in the black community when it suits their purposes but never to snitch on the drug dealers or the thugs in our midst.

Also it seems like our community has carte blanche to say what they want about light bright women in our community and blasting black men for liking them. It isnt right.

So that was the context in which I used the term "dark butt." I know it is offensive, deeply offensive but I am FAR more offended by the idea that with all the criminals rapist, drug dealers and R. Kellys in our community we can only summons some mob justice for Yung Bergs stupid ass.

Personally, I happen to like Von but she has banned me once for my alleged one sidedness and has basically told me that I couldnt talk about black issue because I married an Asian/Paki. I think she is a decent black woman and she is NOT my enemy in this war.


Julia M. said...

Dear Menelik Charles,

Is that necessary? What are we in the 6th grade and we're calling all of our friends to see the big fight between the bully and the little guy?

Don't bother to reply to me if you're going to make this some circus show. Either we have a conversation or not, don't make it some main event because it's not like that. What are you the "hype man"?

Oh and I hope you took notice to my mistakes. My post was kind of blotched up . Missing words here and there?

All around it was confusing, right?

Mission Accomplished. :)

-Julia McDaniels

Rocky said...

Rocky, do you allow articles from guest bloggers?

Absolutely. Give me an email.

And I definitely remember making that post on your blog.

Anonymous said...

I forgot to sign my post as PacMan.


Bellydancer and Untouched Jewel need to observe the superiority of men.

Men are stronger!
Men invent architecture, art, math, science, literature!
Men run faster than women in world records!
Men are smarter in all areas!
Men have created revolutions and changed nations!

Women just nag!


Andrew said...

I think untouched Jewel made a great statement.

I am to tired to reply. The points she made were very valid and on topic.

Let me go to bed. I got work in the morning. It is my "long day".

Rocky said...

I agree Andrew. Untouched Jewel stated her case well and made very valid and passionate points.

Hope to read more from you Jewel.

Anonymous said...

Until women learn to submit, Man will not budge.


Menelik Charles said...

@ Julia M,

I encouraged the folks on here to check out the "debate" because it represents further evidence of what Bro Rocky said in the "Demanding Love & Commitment" post.

Rocky said:

Men hate to argue with their women, especially with the irrational way that women fight and argue. Such arguing and discourse is stressful for men while women seem to strive on it.

Menelik says:

the so-called debate you and I were engaging in was at best irrational, and at worst, downright mean-spirited!

I shall give examples of your 'logic' in another post to follow shortly since I appreciate that (maybe) you have a short attention span!

Menelik Charles
London England

Menelik Charles said...

Here, Mrs M is an example of your basis for “debate”. I hope you can see how it comes across but if you don’t then do please return to our previous “debate” and note the staggering similarities!

Julia M said:

Gina Torres is NOT black. She is a Latino, Puerto Rican and Cuban I believe. Meaning she and Lawrence Fishburne are not "Black Love" because she isn't black.

Rocky replied:

"Latino" is an ethnicity; Puerto Rican and Cuban are nationalities. Neither term denotes a race. She is clearly of black African descent/Afro-Caribbean as is the case with many Puerto Rican's and Cubans.

Julia M replied:

As far as the Gina Torres thing goes, put her up if you want. Why isn't Denzel and his wife up their though? But Gina Torres who might not identify herself as black is?

I'm slightly disappointed with the blog... reading some of your past post, confronting lies and distortions is really..."making excuses and rebuking".

Menelik says:

You see, without even knowing whether or not Gina Torres considers herself Black (which she very probably does but may not consider herself African-American) you announce that she isn’t Black!

Where’s the logic in that?

Bro Rocky politely points out that “Latino” is a cultural (not a racial) category while Puerto-Rican & Cuban are nationalities. But without acknowledging Rocky was right you reduce the factual points he made regarding Ms Torres’ status to merely his wish to embrace her as Black. You said:

“as far as Gina Torres goes, put her up if you want”.

I think it’s awfully nice of you to give Rocky permission to put whatever images HE chooses on HIS blog! Anyway, it’s your logic I’m concerned with here not your generosity of spirit. Consider this little exchange below.

Menelik asked:

can you, please, please give ONE example which Bro Rocky has raised and NOT confronted?

Julia M replied:

The blog on divorce and the black man. The first thing he mentions is HIS black mother and how SHE is to blame for black men’s' divorce rates.

Menelik asked:

when did Bro Rocky talk about "HIS Black mother and blame HER for Black men's divorce rates"????

Julia M replied:

as in Black Men, not Rocky specifically. I said the divorce and the black man, than I mentioned his (black men) and his mother (black men's mother), not Rocky.

I see I must word things differently; some people need a clear indication of who and what I'm talking about.

Menelik replies:

This is a near perfect example of your “debating” tactics, and how far you’re prepared to go in order to dislodge logic! And once again, you cannot acknowledge when you’re wrong. Thus, you seriously believe you can write one thing and say it means something else entirely - even when the evidence suggests otherwise!

You talk about Rocky “making excuses and rebuking” but this is precisely what you do!

Oh, and for your information, the terms “HIS” and “HER” are singular NOT plural! They are also personal pronouns! Please try and get this right so as to avoid any future misunderstanding!

Menelik Charles
London England

Anonymous said...

Rocky said:

"I agree Andrew. Untouched Jewel stated her case well and made very valid and passionate points.

Hope to read more from you Jewel."

So, if such is the case, how much sense does your post make? do you see it makes NO sense? MEN should win the hearts of their wives. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and favor with God. IF you can't find a wife, maybe you should check your flow. Women that can't be found by their husbands, must do the same. It really is not that hard as far as I can see.

WOMEN must learn that only WIVES have babies, cook, clean, and have sex with a man. If he doesn't esteem you enough to marry you, leave him alone. Marriage is an institution created by MEN for men. It stabilizes society. More bm MUST stop whining and get with the program if they expect to survive and thrive. ACTING like a dodo bird will make you EXTINCT just like the dodo bird. Extinction is what happens to creatures that refuse to make the necessary adjustments to ensure their survival. Providing for and protecting your women and children is the behavior of self respecting men doing what it takes to ensure their survival; eally basic simple stuff.

Kigali, your ramblings in response to Charles, in NO WAY excuse the consistent disrespectful hatred you aim at bw with very little provocation on quite a few sites. Particularly bossip. I see you oh evil one.

If righteous bm can see fit to add lumps to the rapping minstrel, they can apply that same tactic to the rampant R. Kelly's of the so-called bc. Righteous bw like me will take to task any dumb bw that is standing acting like she needs to "protect" Robert Sylvester the Molester Kelly and rampant others like him.

I encountered some of these witches when Kelly's concert (held in a bldg that doubles as a black CHURCH no less!) was boycotted. They received no passes from me and other like-minded bw like me. We take these females to task regularly. Colorism in the so-called bc is REAL. Anyone saying otherwise is either woefully ignorant or a liar! Black bw speaking out about it is nothing other than a call for justice. ALL that experience injustice should stand and speak.

Using racist ugly slurs against the group you profess to be apart of is disgusting. It also leads folks to believe you are a catty male that hates bw.

Andrew said...

Dear Anonymous

It sounds like you are blaming black men again. Men can't force you to have sex with us. Men can't force you not to use a condom. Lastly, men can't force you to do "things" you do not want to do..

Many times black women put themselves in a "tough position". There is a perception that all black women are "angels" and go to college.

Maybe half of them and the rest are struggling to make "ends meet". If they do illicit behavior. why would you expect black men to "wife" that. If you basically survived "off men" a majority of your life, how do you expect to respect you.

Men are smarter than you think.

You mention rappers and etc. Talk about the black women that line up for them. Talk about the black women that are video hos. They line up in skimpy outfits to be in the rap videos.

You fail to realize not all black women are the "college educated ones". Not all have financial resources to "do other things".

When you have poverty, children, and single mothers. You will have a certain element of black women that will go into survival modem.

No different than a third world country where a 1/3 to half the women are in prostitution of some sort.

Look at the underlying issue instead of blaming rappers and athletes.

Rocky said...

Anon. Jewel's post was passionate and well stated. That doesn't mean that I agree with most of her points. She is correct in that black parents should put more pressurebon their daughters' boyfriends. What I don't agree with is the notion that blacks in the past didn't do so. What I question is you assertion that men should win their wives hearts. Should they have done this before marriage? Black men have little problem winning black women's hearts.

Menelik Charles said...

Here you go, Mrs M another batch of bite-sized examples of your dubious logic and “debating” tactics. Please pay careful attention, if you will, to your continued reluctance or inability to grasp what was actually said.

Julia M said:

When does having a debate equal a relationship? If I'm correct the definition of relationship is a connection, association or involvement. Why you consider a debate some sort of relationship is beyond me.

If this is the case, I must have relationships with over 60 people. The MOTHERS alone are a good 10! I've yet to meet any of these people in person… and more than half of them don't even know my e-mail address - yet we're in some sort of relationship?

Menelik said:

I suggested you were having VICARIOUS relationships (and all their attendant dramas) with Black men here! The term vicarious means INDIRECT. You are thus having a VICARIOUS or VIRTUAL relationship with, for example, 10 MOTHERS on the world-wide web!

Do you understand my point now, Mrs M?

Julia M said:

I didn't bash Rocky as a person because I don't know him. He could be a nice guy but I feel his blog isn't what it's made up to be. It has nothing to do with my personal feelings toward him.

Menelik asks:

Let me get this crystal clear: you don’t BASH people you DON’T know, or have a relationship with and who maybe very nice people in real life. Am I correct, Mrs M?

Julia M said:

1)I don't know what they teach you in London but you're all over the place. I could barely understand your "Julia M said....Menelik said" style of writing. It seems pretty botched up, and you write in riddles all the time.

2)I apologize in advance for this statement because I know it's… rude but I just feel the need to say it. You're like one of those people who want to "sound smart" but in reality isn’t. You want to sound intellectual with - all of your riddles, and off remarks but in reality it makes you sound nonsensical.

3)Again, I apologize because my comment was rather vulgar. That's my opinion of you, and I didn't need a list of blog to form it. I could be incorrect but it will stand until I am proven wrong.

Menelik replied:

you’re obviously aware that the term rude means impolite and offensive, Mrs M but still you feel compelled to enlighten me as to your opinion of my alleged intellectual failings! And none of this rude or impolite language you call bashing?

Of course, you could be wrong, as you suggest, but I would first have to display my intellectual prowess to YOU! But you don’t know me, Mrs M. We’re not having a relationship here…unless one considers it a virtual or vicarious relationship lol

Anyway, what clearly comes across in our ‘relationship’ is how quick you are to put people or their blogs down. You appear to possess a malevolent spirit coupled with a lurking desire to dominate matters. I don’t know what outstanding issues you have with your father, Mrs M but whatever they are, marrying Mike, and being a new mother, clearly hasn’t resolved them! Bashing Black men on here will NOT resolve them either!

Thank you.

Menelik Charles
London England

Menelik Charles said...

Oh, and one more question, what did you mean by this?

Julia M said:

...Rocky could be a nice guy but I feel his blog isn't what it's made up to be...

Menelik asks:

what exactly does Bro Rocky make his blog out to be? Can you answer this question, please?

Menelik Charles
London England

Julia M. said...

Dear Menelik Charles,
" Anyway, what clearly comes across in our ‘relationship’ is how quick you are to put people or their blogs down. You appear to possess a malevolent spirit coupled with a lurking desire to dominate matters. I don’t know what outstanding issues you have with your father, Mrs M but whatever they are, marrying Mike, and being a new mother, clearly hasn’t resolved them! Bashing Black men on here will NOT resolve them either!"
Please stop using the word relationship because I don't consider this conversation to be one.

My relationship with my father is none of your concern and how it is relevant to the topic at hand is beyond me.From the sounds of it, it's something you throw out very often.

My opinion of Rocky's blog is not a reflection of him as a person because I don't know him like that. Now in your case, I simply was dishing out what was given.

As far as me seeking to dominate, that's a first. In all the 29 years I've been on this earth, I've yet to come across someone who labled me that and malevolent?How you came to that conclusion is a mystery to me. If anything I tend to surround myself with men who dominate and I don't even know where the "malevolent spirit" came from.

" Of course, you could be wrong, as you suggest, but I would first have to display my intellectual prowess to YOU! But you don’t know me, Mrs M. We’re not having a relationship here…unless one considers it a virtual or vicarious relationship lol"
Your right, and you don't know me.
Now you know how it feels to have someone jump to conclusion about you based on a diminutive amount of facts or post in this case.

As I said before, I wrote my post the way I did for a reason. Everything I said was mirroring your post. That hasn't clicked with you yet.

" Let me get this crystal clear: you don’t BASH people you DON’T know, or have a relationship with and who maybe very nice people in real life. Am I correct, Mrs M?"
I don't bash people I don't know. I'm fair in a sense where I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and I know I hate to be judged on a few comments, thus why I don't do it to other people. Unless we have someone like yourself who dishing it out, than I retaliate by giving my analysis of you and your personality.

As far as the "relationship" thing goes, it matters who you are. I don't befriend everyone who comes my way.

I'm ending this here though Menelik Charles, I won't be replying to you any longer because I don't have the patience to sit here and try to explain every word I type to you. There are more important things that need my time and attention and some guy from England is definitely not one of them.

I will say this, you're not Sherlock Holmes and I'm not the big case that needs to be cracked. Clearly you don't know me very well and you never bothered to even find out. Your opinion on me was created the minute you found out my husband was white and from there assumptions about my character were made.

It shows me your very dogmatic. Despite my husband's race, I do get along with a lot of black men and I don't bash them. Andrew, the blog owner of Mr. Laurelton Queens is one of them. We might have our differences on topics but he has been nothing but respectful and I don't have a problem with him.

The same goes for other blog owners and regular people that I know. As I stated before, I don't have a problem with Rocky as a person but I feel the blog is a little misleading. It doesn't mean I dislike black men or enjoy bashing them because that's not the case.

I'm done though, clearly you're the spokesman around here and I don't want to have to see your replies to me every time I comment.
Good Luck with your book.

-Julia McDaniels

Julia M. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Julia M. said...

Are you Serious?

People are actually impersonating me now? Unbelievable!

Rocky, if it is possible can you please check the IP addresses because I swear on my child's life that last post was not me and I don't know who feels the need to post under my name.

Good thing I want to start my own blog, this is the perfect opportunity to create an account. I don't have to worry about impersonations.

-The REAL Julia McDaniels

Rocky said...


Thanks for the heads up.

Menelik Charles said...

Julia M said:

1) As I said before, I wrote my post the way I did for a reason. Everything I said was mirroring your post. That hasn't clicked with you yet.

2) I don't bash people I don't know...unless we have someone like yourself who dishing it out, than I retaliate by giving my analysis of you and your personality.

Menelik replied:

You weren't mirroring my post in the slightest Mrs M but simply trying to score points, and to conceal the fact that by me quoting you word-for-word, you were never going to get the better of this encounter!

I questioned your logic. Consider you you began here by stating that Gina Torres wasn't Black! Well, I've been looking over pics of Ms Torres, and she appears 'Blacker' than either Beyonce or Tyra!

What then gave you the right to impose a non-Black identity on Ms Torres (a woman loved-up with a Black man)? Did she inform you or anyone else she wasn't Black? Do you know her, Mrs M?

No you don't so quit talking about how "fair" you are when you've yet to acknowledge you were wrong here. Consider your response to Rocky pointing out that Puerto-Rican and Cuban are nationalities while Latin is merely a culture.

Jullia M said:

As far as the Gina Torres thing goes, put her up if you want.

Menelik asks:

why not simply acknowledge you were wrong and move on Mrs M?

You can't even acknowledge that your grammar needs some work when, for example, you use personal pronouns when referring to many people i.e. Black men!

Even when this was pointed out you refused to acknowledge the error! I specifically talked (that's a past tense!) about a vicarious or virtual relationship and you kept reading it to mean a face-to-face relationship!

What gives, Mrs M?

I guess one cannot exactly have a nuanced 'conversation' with someones whose 'logic' is so utterly tied up with her hormones!

Good luck with your blog, Mrs M.

Menelik Charles
London England

ps given your claim to be drawn to dominant males, I'm sure you wont object to ME having the LAST WORD on this ocasion lol

Julia M. said...

Dear Rocky,

I had this problem on Andrew's (Mr. Laurelton Queens) blog a couple of months ago. I should have created an account back than but they left and I figured it was over.

I have a question for Menelik Charles, Do you repeat the same thing over and over again? This is like the 3rd time you wrote a post on that same information. You question my logic over one post and you keep on bringing up the same post. Are there any other examples?

I came to the conclusion that I'm not giving you enough to work with, which is why you resort to saying the same thing. The whole "Julia dislikes/bashes black men" movement didn't work so I guess you have to resort to the "Julia is an illogical idiot who can't write well" movement.

I don't know you and I've never meet you before but you act like I'm some enemy that needs to be taken out.

Whatever the reason is, I'm asking you to leave me alone.

-Julia McDaniels

Julia M. said...

Dear Menelik Charles,
"given your claim to be drawn to dominant males, I'm sure you wont object to ME having the LAST WORD on this ocasion lol"

I see what this is about. You have a little crush and think teasing me is going to turn me on. Sorry, but I'm happy with Mike, even if he isn't perfect. So I'm going to suggest a cold shower. I'm done with this exchange, really this time. I wish you and Rocky well on your blog. Who knew making one observation would cause such a mess.

- Julia McDaniels

Julia M. said...

Dear Anonymous aka My Impersonator,

I got you this time! See I created a blogger account and when you do the little "B" icon on the side is orange! And What color is the one next to my post and what is the color of the one next to yours?

Seriously, I don't know who are you but you don't speak for me Anonymous. I have my own voice and I don't need some obsessed, "I don't have a life" woman trying to be me.

I see you only respond when it's about Menelik Charles. If you have a problem with him , confront him. Don't use my identity to do so.

(Rocky, May you please delete the March 14,2010 at 7:51 PM post. It's not me)

-The REAL Julia McDaniels

Anonymous said...

Is Julia M. the next Sybil (multiple personality disorder) case for Menelik and MANKIND to conquer?

I look forward to the movie.


Menelik Charles said...

@Julia M:

just a few tidbits from (hopefully) our very last correspondence.

Julia M said:

I have a question for Menelik Charles: Do you repeat the same thing over and over again?

Menelik asks:

do you seriously want me to answer this question, Mrs M?

Julia M said:

This is like the 3rd time you wrote a post on that same information.

Menelik asks:

what information are you talking about?

Julia M said:

The whole "Julia dislikes/bashes black men" movement didn't work so I guess you have to resort to the "Julia is an illogical idiot who can't write well" movement.

Menelik says:

not only do you make stuff up, and evade answering questions like the plague, but your lack of self-awareness is simply breath-taking!

Mrs M, someone pointing out your failings is NOT a movement but one person's observations whether right or wrong!

Also you've yet to show in what way Rocky's blog is "misleading" - as you put it!

Julia M said:

I'm asking you to leave me alone.

Menelik says:

first you play the race card with that baseless claim that I take issue with the fact your husband's white, and now you play the harassed female card when your arguments come under intellectual scrutiny!

What a dame!

For the record, I took issue with your logic, and a curious inability to say what you actually meant without first having to reinvent the English language!

Anyway, Mrs M, let me know whether you want me to answer the question you posed above or just to leave you alone - as you so shamefully put it.

Menelik Charles
London England

Anonymous said...

I forgot to sign my Chuck Berry lyrics post as

Johnny B. Goode


Anonymous said...

Why are men better than women?

For this reason:
"Deep down Louisiana close to New Orleans
Way back up in the woods among the evergreens
There stood a log cabin made of earth and wood
Where lived a country boy named Johnny B. Goode
Who never ever learned to read or write so well
But he could play the guitar just like a ringing a bell
Go go, go Johnny go
Go, go Johnny go
Go, go Johnny go
Go, go Johnny go
Go, Johnny B. Goode"

Men make revolutions. Men are the architects of technology and knowledge, including the pyramids, poetry, and music! Johnny B. Goode is a man.

Ichibod said...

I can't believe how some black women act as though every black woman that gets pregnant is pregnant by her boyfriend or always knows who the father of the child is. This brings to question whether the father was even intended to be around (if she even meant to be a mother) or whether he has any idea he should be. I totally agree with the statement about only wives having babies. Those were the good old days.

Anna Renee said...

An interesting blog! I'm one for black reconciliation in our relationships. But it has to be because they want to be reconciled. We know there are many negative forces working behind the scenes and in front of the scenes to destroy black relationships, and not just male-female. But do black men want to fight for reconciliation? Do black women? I'm one who feels that black interracial relationships cannot be GOOD, unless the BLACK person is reconciled with her/his black people. Meaning, an understanding is reached about all issues, black women anger, black male anger, black poverty, black self hate, etc. How can a black person not bring that stuff into an interracial realtionship and burden the other person, or put them on a pedestal? How would that other person view the black mate?
There seems to be alot of black male anger at black females, and black female reaction to it. Can it really be as simple as black men are dogs/black women are nags? Or is there a reason behind this? Are black people just ridiculous inherently? No, we go through all of this madness because of what psychological damage we have sustained. I could say we black folks can heal, but racism is still in effect. And believe me those who promote it are victims to it as well.
Black men, if you want to be with ladies of other races, that shouldn't be such a problem, but it is, because you haven't reconciled your guilt and angst for the issues of black women.

AS for the black women bloggers who go through all this same shit from the woman's perspective, I have a lot to say to them as well!
It's so damn juvenile to blame each other back and forth. As a psychologist, I know that you understand that healing needs to take effect and the right type of setting has to be put in place for that. Maybe seeking out black people who are psychologically whole, or even working on forgiveness. Then you can be a better mate for the wife/husband you have of another race!! If I was married to an Asian man and he was constantly raging about the women of his own race, I wouldn't feel the least bit comfortable about it, and would start looking at him sideways......

I'll be back.

Jiquanda Johnson said...

Though some of the things mentioned in your blogs are true. They are generalizations. I understand that a lot of stereotypes generated about black men are just that. Just recently, I was asked why do successful black men date white women. I thought about it and replied there are more successful black men dating black women than white women. For some strange reason the interracial relationships are put under a media microscope and scrutinized by the populous.
I am one that loves black men and all of their blemishes because they love me and my faults. But I don't understand how supporting something that tarnishes black women helps dispel some of the untruths about black men that are perpetuated in the media and embraced by others including a select few black women. Why can't we work together to change the negatives stereotypes of both sexes?
I have to be honest. I don't know where I would be without a black man. I love everyone of you.