Monday, December 14, 2009

"Men Are Supposed To Be The Leaders"

This is a statement commonly made by the so-called "black woman empowerment bloggers" and "black woman interracial bloggers". It's not really stated because they actually believe this or consciously desire this to be the case. They make this statement for the purpose of chastising black men and to take away black female responsibility for contributing to the problems of black America. To understand the inherent problem with their repeated use of this statement, one must understand that which is necessary for leadership along with the various types of leadership.

For anyone to lead, there must be those who submit to be led. With regard to submitting to male leadership and authority, there is typically more resistance from African American woman than probably any other group of women. This is added to the overall modern trend of women less and less accepting male leadership and authority and the common obstinate behavior of black American women. Now one must understand that there are three basic types of authority:

1. Legal Authority: This type of authority with regard to gender is practically non-existent in American society due to modern laws not granting authority to men. Thus, black men have no legal authority over black women.

2. Traditional Authority: The history of black men in this nation being deprived of so much authority has made male leadership in black America less the tradition than in other groups. Combined with the modern trend of women being less accepting of male authority and the added mulishness common to black women, you basically end up with black men having no traditional authority over black women.

3. Charismatic Authority: This is the only real authority left to black men, yet it is limited to the exceptional. It is not an authority bestowed upon those men of good character, sound judgement and solid work ethic, but rather bestowed upon the small minority of men who possess god gifted talent. Thus, you have a handful of black men whose leadership black women will routinely submit to while the overwhelming majority of black men have no leg to stand on with regard to asserting themselves as leaders. As stated before, a leader requires those willing to be led by him/her.

The problem with charismatic authority is that it is value-neutral and doesn't distinguish between moral and immoral charismatic authority. This is why so many black women are willing to submit to being led by skilled and talented pimps, players, drug dealers and criminals. Unlike traditional authority, charismatic authority tends less to relegate authority to men of sound character.

So basically, when women who often resist submitting to male leadership declare than men are supposed to lead, they are actually in essence reaching for a way to not be responsible for their own behavior. They lower themselves temporarily to the level of a child making men/black men responsible for every misstep made by women/black women. Most men would not mind this IF if was consistent and not a case of picking and choosing according to convenience when to be the damsel in distress and when to be the "independent woman". Either let us lead or handle your own business.

Below is a beautiful sista who understands this perfectly:




It is important to note that this dark skinned sista with African features and natural hair is HAPPILY MARRIED to a black man. It's not that brothas are so color-struck. It's that brothas want a positive attitude.

And here is another intelligent and beautiful sista:

57 comments:

Truth B. Told said...

Amen, needed to be said and couldn't have been said any better.

Anonymous said...

...and in response, "Women are supposed to be followers."

Kigali

Rocky said...

Thanks Truth.

Kigali. In only a few words, you make a potent point. For one to declare that men are supposed to be the leaders, one is in essence saying that women are supposed to be the followers. The problem is that few modern women will find such a statement acceptable. This is an example of those pesky contradictions that men so often have to deal with.

Your statement goes back to what I said earlier; that being that in order for someone to lead, there must be those willing to be led. The truth of the matter is that when they say that men should lead, what they are really saying is that men should bear all burdens. The term “lead” is used because it has a noble sound to it as opposed to the truth of many women today desiring that men be their mules as well as their scapegoats.

Anonymous said...

Misandry is a growing problem.

Women now want to dominate everything!

PacMan

Anonymous said...

Regarding charismatic leadership you left out black preachers. Black women (at least the "church sisters") do love their churches and their black preachers.

Anonymous said...

@Rocky,

Indeed. It is one of the may loopholes that females have for the cycle to continue. When you tell them they should follow, they will inevitably respond that they cant follow men who arent "holding it" down. Though they have no problems having children with said men. Then we are back to square one.

I have seen that sista on You Tube before and she is amazing. I love how she is her husbands wife and his girlfriend. Too cute.

Kigali

CPTCallamity@gmail.com said...

@PacMan

These women do not know the definition of misandry nor do they recognize when they are perpetuating it. They are so accustomed to being "victims of misogyny" that it is a foreign concept.

Rocky said...

Regarding charismatic leadership you left out black preachers. Black women (at least the "church sisters") do love their churches and their black preachers.

Not just black preachers. Two thirds of the followers of Jim Jones were women and 75% were black.

Anonymous said...

You are the definition of damaged beyond repair and misogynistic.

Keep preaching to your base of DBR black men (and the women who settle for them!) who remain under your psychotic black dick control.

Leave me the hell alone.

I’ll never post your moronic comments to my blog so don’t waste your breath.

Anonymous said...

Here is another good one but she isnt a beautiful sista. Truth is truth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVfIkDtCbuk

Kigali

Andrew said...

Rocky

Nice post. Let's not forget black women should not just follow any black men.

Quite often it leads them down to a path of destruction.

Hollywood likes to glorify the "pimp".

If people only knew the history of a "pimp". And how black men got that label.

Good day.

Andrew said...

Dear Anonymous

You said this

"You are the definition of damaged beyond repair and misogynistic.

Keep preaching to your base of DBR black men (and the women who settle for them!) who remain under your psychotic black dick control.

Leave me the hell alone.

I’ll never post your moronic comments to my blog so don’t waste your breath."

Yea Yea, see you at the top!

LOL

Anonymous said...

@Anon

"Keep preaching to your base of DBR black men (and the women who settle for them!) who remain under your psychotic black dick control."

You increase the two parent homes in the black community, you will inevitably decrease the incidents of DBR- their mind controlling dicks, and the women who settle for them.

Kigali

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Rocky.

Never knew that about Jim Jones.

Very revealing of the minds of women in following "damaged beyond repair" male savior - Jim Jones.

PacMan

vincee101 said...

All to often we confuse submitting with surrendering. Leadership is ineffective without the cooperation of followers. Submission quite often is a greater demonstration of leadership or strength than having all the say so. Leaders prove to be replaceable, a solid body of followers cannot be.

Anonymous said...

I still say that "damaged beyond repair" Jim Jones is the leader for women who want to be part of the white savior harem! These banshees must DROOL over Jim Jones and his cult of DEATH! It's all about keeping up with the Joneses!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Andrew-

you comment here could very well be the only time i have heard you say anything that makes sense.

Rocky-

it is incumbent upon the leader and the messenger to influence the thoughts of the follower and the listener in such a way that it affects their behavior.

if the bulk of bw followed bm, they would be going right to jail. refusing to follow more bw are going to college and moving up and forward despite the obstacles.

and yes, men are supposed to be leaders, providers, protectors, and the heads of their families. just as bm did not wait for wm to LET them be men, bm must also stop with the excuses and want to man up. as soon as that happens, there will be a change in behavior and the direction of bpeople.

for those of us that understand that when one accepts excuses, that is all one will have, i reject your latest.

kigali is a slave catching idiot if it is in fact female. i see you.

thanks for letting me share. hope you don't "happen to delete" this comment. if you do, maybe it was meant only for your panicked, omg bm are being annihilated and all the strength, courage, and will i have is to blame shift and point my trembling, coward finger at black WOMEN behind. lol! die slow coward. it will please me greatly to visit periodically and poke fun at you. yellow bellied coward negroes...ALL stereotypes bead some truth.

peace

Anonymous said...

Anon needs to cease lecturing and learn to respect men.

PacMan

Anonymous said...

So EDUCATED black women are supposed to allow themselves to be "led" by black men whose formal education stopped when they graduated from high school?

What can a typical black male, with only a high school diploma, do in today's highly unpredictable job market?

As far as this woman's "looks" are concerned, we don't know what her husband looks like. A man whose formal education stopped when he graduated high school should be verrrrrry grateful to have a wife smart enough to be working towards a Master's Degree, regardless of what she looks like. This woman is doing her husband more of a favor than he is her, IMO.

If a man is going to be my "leader", he HAS to be smarter than me, more resourceful than me AND have more DRIVE than me. Period. Is that so much to ask? Why would any sensible woman agree to anything else?

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous,

Interestingly enough, your man doesnt need a university degree to physically defend you if someone breaks into your home. He doesnt need a university degree to discipline your children and instill in them the value of manhood and fatherhood and family.

Fifty years ago blacks didnt have university degrees but they churned out a better generation of black folks than we have today with all our degrees in psychology and communications that probably couldnt get you a job at McDonalds.

Your man is more than your pay check. The most important thing is he is a man, knows his responsibilities, is a leader, has direction, has respect and loyalty. You cant learn any of that at a university.

Also, I have a Bachelors degree myself. It does not say that I majored in responsibility, virtue, commitment, womanhood, motherhood, financial responsibility, etc.

Lastly, there are about 19% of the black America population with university degrees. They are a minority of a minority. Talk about the state of the majority of black folks who have no Uni degrees and make between $31,000-$36,000 a year.

Its annoying how your black females bring up the chimera of black females with MAs when very few of them actually exist.

Kigali

Anonymous said...

@Anon,

"if the bulk of bw followed bm, they would be going right to jail. refusing to follow more bw are going to college and moving up and forward despite the obstacles."

If that is the case why is it that the sons of single black mothers are more likely to go to jail? These boys followed their mothers didnt they yet they ended up exhibiting all sorts of anti social behavior even very early on in life. The leadership of the single black female hasnt exactly produced stellar results.

Kigali

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous,

"kigali is a slave catching idiot if it is in fact female. i see you."

You must be thankful to all the Black Qweens who have produced so many generations of slaves. Except this time they aint going back to Massa but to the pokie.

Kigali

focusedpurpose said...

PacMan-

i respect MEN. i have no respect for whiny little ladyboys that are too cowardly to do the innerwork necessary to effect change.

PacMan STILL needs therapy. your wounds are gaping...

other smart Anon- SPEAK on it!

now you know these negroes would have us to believe that it shouldn't matter if a male is fit for leadership or to function as a man. by virtue of his genitalia we are suppose to bow, submit, and yield.

i appreciate your intelligence.

Anonymous said...

A black female blogger wrote the following:
"most women from all cultures are advised/taught NOT to marry down. this practice [marrying down] seems to be encouraged for bw only."


Women are SUPPOSED to marry someone who is AT LEAST on their level and preferably HIGHER. Why are black women the ONLY race of women being advised to "marry down"?

Instead of encouraging black women to marry down, why not encourage black men to further their educations?

@Kigali
I have never had my home broken into but I was robbed at gunpoint once. It was a black man that did it.

Rocky said...

it is incumbent upon the leader and the messenger to influence the thoughts of the follower and the listener in such a way that it affects their behavior.

Yes. But if a person refuses to be "the follower" and refuses to be "the listener" (as is the case with MANY black women), influencing that person's thoughts is impossible.

if the bulk of bw followed bm, they would be going right to jail. refusing to follow more bw are going to college and moving up and forward despite the obstacles.

Well, black women actually are "going right to jail". They make up a larger percentage of the female prison population than black men make up the male prison population. Black women are also the fastest growing prison population.

Also, lets get it straight. around 16% of black women have college degrees compared to around 12% of black men. Thus, 84% of black women and 88% of black men have no college degrees. Not a significant difference. So cut this fallacy of most black women earning college degrees.

and yes, men are supposed to be leaders, providers, protectors, and the heads of their families. just as bm did not wait for wm to LET them be men, bm must also stop with the excuses and want to man up. as soon as that happens, there will be a change in behavior and the direction of bpeople.

and yes, women are supposed to be followers, nurturers, caregivers, and the homemakers of their families. Bw must stop with the excuses and want to woman up. As soon as that happens, there will be a change in behavior and the direction of bpeople.

for those of us that understand that when one accepts excuses, that is all one will have, i reject your latest.

As well as I reject all of yours.

The rest of your post is immature to respond to.

Rocky said...

So EDUCATED black women are supposed to allow themselves to be "led" by black men whose formal education stopped when they graduated from high school?

She did and it seems to have made her happy. She has a husband who is working and taking care of her while she goes to school. Her kids will have a father's influence. What do you have?

What can a typical black male, with only a high school diploma, do in today's highly unpredictable job market?

Depends on the individual. You don't know this man and can't judge whether he is "typical" or not.

As far as this woman's "looks" are concerned, we don't know what her husband looks like. A man whose formal education stopped when he graduated high school should be verrrrrry grateful to have a wife smart enough to be working towards a Master's Degree, regardless of what she looks like. This woman is doing her husband more of a favor than he is her, IMO.

You can see him here:

What is your point about her "looks"? I think that she is attractive. YOU on the other hand would claim that no black men wants her because she is dark. Her husband has proved you wrong.

Seems that her husband has made her HAPPY and is supporting her emotionally and financially while she attends school.

If a man is going to be my "leader", he HAS to be smarter than me, more resourceful than me AND have more DRIVE than me. Period. Is that so much to ask? Why would any sensible woman agree to anything else?

And when many black women get such men, they will still not allow him to lead.

Teddy said...

Rocky bustin truth on they ass again!

Menelik Charles said...

Bro Rocky,

check out Focusedpurpose blog here:

http://focusedpurpose.blogspot.com/

In one post she blasts out white women (on some unamed blog) for suggesting that an unamed Black actor only dates white women. Focused even goes so far as to states that she knows PERSONALLY that he has the hots for the sistas (do read between the lines, if you will lol).

In another post she advises Black women to date out because Black men have left them i.e. rejected them for women of other races. So...Black men lead, and she advises Black women to FOLLOW..."by virtue of his genitalia", perhaps?

Sour grapes, anyone?

Menelik Charles
London England

Anonymous said...

@foucedpurpose,

"now you know these negroes would have us to believe that it shouldn't matter if a male is fit for leadership or to function as a man. by virtue of his genitalia we are suppose to bow, submit, and yield."

Wonderful straw man. I assumed the men were fit because the babies keep coming. I guess not. How about we focus less on income because as mentioned, on average black men are still making more than black women, and concentrate on character? I keep hearing about income.

Kigali

Anonymous said...

Rocky said:
"What is your point about her "looks"? I think that she is attractive. YOU on the other hand would claim that no black men wants her because she is dark. Her husband has proved you wrong."

My response:
I think she is attractive as well. YOU were the one who brought her looks into the conversation by saying she was a "dark-skinned sista with African looks and natural hair". I was simply referring to what YOU wrote.



This rhetoric being thrown at black women from all sides implies that black women are too picky when it comes to men when in truth they are not picky enough!

Anonymous said...

@Anon

It isnt that black females are too picky or arent picky enough but they are just too picky in the pockets. How about you be picky in the morals and values department?
And speaking of women in other parts of the world who are expected to marry up, unfortunately for them they havent been blessed with feminism. They marry up because as woman they have always been financial burdens. They go from being the fathers burden to being their husbands burden. Lets also not forget that these women arent coming in empty handed. They have to accept their husband's omnipotence. Just like their fathers.

Kigali

Rocky said...

I think she is attractive as well. YOU were the one who brought her looks into the conversation by saying she was a "dark-skinned sista with African looks and natural hair". I was simply referring to what YOU wrote.

But you questioned his looks as if it would probably require an unattractive black man to desire her. I beg to differ. From my point of view, he appears to be an average looking guy.

This rhetoric being thrown at black women from all sides implies that black women are too picky when it comes to men when in truth they are not picky enough!

I disagree. I think that black women are picky. They often express wanting their men to have swagger, a little ink on their bodies, limited body hair, bald heads, certain skin tones, a certain height, a certain phallic size, dress a certain way and to be a little gansta.

What black woman may not be enough of is VETTING.

Rocky said...

PacMan-

i respect MEN. i have no respect for whiny little ladyboys that are too cowardly to do the innerwork necessary to effect change.

PacMan STILL needs therapy. your wounds are gaping...

other smart Anon- SPEAK on it!

now you know these negroes would have us to believe that it shouldn't matter if a male is fit for leadership or to function as a man. by virtue of his genitalia we are suppose to bow, submit, and yield.


Focusedpurpose. It is not what you say---it is how you say it. please be mindful that we cannot disrespect another without first disrespecting ourselves.

Sound familiar?

But on your point, you seem to basically have just made something up. No one said anything about a male being fit for leadership based solely on him being male. The point is that if he has shown himself worthy enough for you to have an intimate and emotional relationship with, then why isn't he worthy enough to be given the leadership role that you all say men are "supposed" to have? The reality is that black women commonly push to establish committed relationships with men, and then battle those very men daily for dominance.

Rashida said...

LOL i see the usual idiocy has popped off in the comments section.

Whoever brought up the fact that back in the 1950's and 60's few blacks had education BUT we had a STRONG MORAL FIBER in our community was dead on. African Americans were not formally educated yet we still could raise decent human beings. Fast-forward 50 years and we see 80% of children being born out of wedlock! All these degrees floating around and folks can't seem to get married and commit to each other before they have children! And yes, that 80% of black children being born are being born to men and women with college degrees, too. Formal education has nothing to do with basic male/female relationships.

I don't know why these bloggers keep bringing up the fact that more black women are in college then black men. The majority of blacks can't finish college due to financial issues anyway, mainly because they are not coming from any form of STABILITY. You can churn out some high school graduates that go to college but as a community we lack the follow-through. So focusing on who has what degree and how much they make means NOTHING. Especially when like 36% of married women of all races earn as much or MORE than their husbands. Clearly there has been a shift in the role of breadwinner in our society.

Like Kigali said, women from non-western societies look to marry up because their existence COSTS money. They have no means of taking care of themselves AT ALL. Western women have the luxury of victimhood feminism and the media to encourage them to not only achieve their "dreams of success" but to also hold out for a man who is a)more successful than you and b)would be willing to put up with you.

Sex and the City isn't just a show about shoes. Those female archetypes are indicative of the modern "single girl" movement. These women with great careers and lifestyles and shoes still want to find a man who has more than they do. And that man must find them attractive, be ready to settle down and treat them like a queen otherwise he is a misogynist or jealous or "can't handle" a successful woman. The whole thing is pure hilarity.

Perhaps black women should focus on character when looking for a man and not how much more "drive" or "education" or "money' he has than you. Who the hell says they can only date a man who is smarter than them? What does that even mean? Smarter in what way?

If a man is resourceful, intelligent, thoughtful, caring and emotionally sound that should be the starting point. If you check him by any other characteristics FIRST, you will be disappointed.

A man's salary can fluctuate. He can go to Europe in his forties instead of his twenties. You can teach him about the wonders of Debussy and David Hockney. You can introduce him to french food. But you can NEVER instill good character. EVER.

Until black women learn how to pick men based on character and morals they will continue to be crapped on by men of ALL races.

Zindzi (aka Black Girl Pain) said...

As someone else mentioned, if BW followed BM...we'd be following them to places we DON'T want to go. BW go to jail less and school more. Why would we follow y'all? *sigh* Makes no sense...

Zindzi (aka Black Girl Pain) said...

I'm also curious to know how many of the men here commenting on how women in other parts of the world live have actually LIVED in another part of the world. If BM could REALLY see the way men in other parts of the world behave and how they treat/respect their women, they'd be ashamed...or maybe they wouldn't.

Rocky said...

As someone else mentioned, if BW followed BM...we'd be following them to places we DON'T want to go. BW go to jail less and school more. Why would we follow y'all? *sigh* Makes no sense...

Of course, you ignored the response to that. Women of all races and ethnicities go to jail less than their men. White women go to school more than white men. So lets make the fair comparison and compare women to women.

While 16% of black women earn college degrees, more than 30% of white women earn them. With regard to prison, black women make up half the female prison population and are a higher percentage of the female prison population than black men are of the male prison population. Black women are the fastest growing prison population.

So since you say that black women are not following black men, then clearly they are going to prison on their own accord. Of course, you will change your tune on that in another conversation and declare that black women are going to prison because of black men (which is the common excuse). Hence another example of the inconsistencies.

Now they estimate that 25% of black men have some kind of criminal record. Of course, that means 75% have no such records, yet I think that evidence suggests that a disproportionate number of black women are more inclined to follow the leadership of the 25% over the 75%. That is one reason that we have the 25%. One can see this by the number of black women with men in prison and with the high prevalence of thug-love among black women.

The truth is that many black women simply want to go where the worst of black men will take them. It excites them and turns them on. The sound black men are often viewed as boring and not a challenge.

And lets get it straight. The premise of the conversation is one of black women letting their significant others lead. If a man is worthy of sharing a woman's bed and being her lover, boyfriend, etc., then why shouldn't he be worthy a leadership role? If he lacks in the character that would make him worthy of being a leader, then he should never have become her intimate. The problem is that many black women refuse to be led by good men and allow themselves to be led by fools.

Rocky said...

I'm also curious to know how many of the men here commenting on how women in other parts of the world live have actually LIVED in another part of the world. If BM could REALLY see the way men in other parts of the world behave and how they treat/respect their women, they'd be ashamed...or maybe they wouldn't.

You mean like China and most other Asian nations. You mean like Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Pakistan and the rest of the Muslim world? You mean like much of Central and South America and Africa? You need to get a better understanding of the rest of the world.

And look at my previous blog. Why do women who are supposedly treated so badly have such high self-esteem?

Bellydancer said...

Rashida said:
Like Kigali said, women from non-western societies look to marry up because their existence COSTS money. They have no means of taking care of themselves AT ALL. Western women have the luxury of victimhood feminism and the media to encourage them to not only achieve their "dreams of success" but to also hold out for a man who is a)more successful than you and b)would be willing to put up with you.



Yes but aren't you glad you live in a country where you do not have to depend on men or your family to take care of you. Some of those women in those third world countries are abused and mistreated because they cannot fend for themselves economically at least here in the USA you have a choice in the matter and nobody can force you to do anything against your will. Feminism is no more full of victimhood then the civil rights movement because we know black men benefitted from that movement more then black women did so why does everyone want to point out feminism as bad, its okay to fight for black rights but not womens rights.

Bellydancer said...

Kigali said:
And speaking of women in other parts of the world who are expected to marry up, unfortunately for them they havent been blessed with feminism. They marry up because as woman they have always been financial burdens. They go from being the fathers burden to being their husbands burden.



Who said they had to be burdens to men you see those men in those countries have held women back so long they look at it like it something to be admired which is BS. All human beings have potential to do great things beside procreate. Luckily for the women in this country we were blessed with feminism and all the benefits that came with it like education, property, voting rights, reproductive rights, right to choose own spouse or not. I would like some of the women on here bashing feminism to go live without it. Would you live in a country that did not give you your rights as a black man hell no you would fight for those rights.

Anonymous said...

@BellyDancer,

You completely missed the point we were trying to make in order to promote feminism. The Anonymous poster made the comment that women in other countries have the luxury to marry up when in reality they marry up because women arent apart of the economy in many of these countries. Not only that the social dynamics of these very societies expect women to be submissive and dependent on men.

Black women have always worked, however feminism has allowed you to eschew traditional roles.

Still you cant have your cake and eat it too. If you want men to go back and be the leaders, than you have to go back and be the followers.

Your straw man of us wanting to forego our human rights because we want men to be the leaders of our community is intellectually lazy.

Kigali

Menelik Charles said...

Bro Rocky,

check this out:


http://nerdsevolving.blogspot.com/2008/09/new-term.html

another blog obsessed with Black men! Check out the letters section.

Menelik Charles
London England

Anonymous said...

HO, HO, HO to all of the "crew" this season as they jingle with the fat white man in the red suit!

You know who you are!

PacMan

focusedpurpose said...

Menelik-

no sour grapes. if you read and comprehend what you read at my house, i am simply suggesting to bw that they stop limiting themselves to bm only. this is NOT the practice of bm in the US or the UK. lol! bm were designed to be the head of the bw and bchildren. (maybe saying "head" works better than "leader". yes?) bm in large numbers have divested decades ago. i am simply inviting bw that want to survive and thrive to stop with the holding pattern which is not in their best interests. where the head goes, the body follows.

if you read and comprehend what i write at my house, you will see clearly that i have advised bw to not have coffee much less a child with an unfit bmale or any male for that matter. i have stressed again and again that WIVES have babies. there is NO HONOR in babymamadom. it is decidedly dishonorable and shameful.

if you read and comprehend what i write at my house, you will see clearly that i strongly urge ALL nonblk women that look at the way quite a few bm treat bw and think they will somehow fare better to come and get it. don't take one bmale. take three, please. bw do not own bm. neither do bm own bw. wes all free now. lol!

out of curiousity, has anyone bothered to acknowledge the critical importance of the father/daughter relationship? so when bm go m.i.a, it does not just affect the sons. it negatively impacts the future mothers/first teachers of the nation. but then, i suppose that would mean one would need to be in search of solutions rather than finger pointing. and we know one cannot find the solution to a problem, WITHOUT first ACKNOWLEDGING the problem. be clear, my position has been and continues to be:

BOTH bm AND bw are culpable and complicit in the messy garbage that the bulk of the so-called bcommunity has become and continues to become. BOTH bm AND bw (collectively speaking, folks PLEASE don't start talking about your individual selves. ALL collectives are comprised of individuals. THIS fact is BESIDE the point.) are NOT honoring their ancestors, their descendents nor themselves. the so-called bcommunity is gasping for its last breaths. i cannot see how blame-shifting will prevent annihilation. i have said it before and will say it again, barring the litle girls and teens, at this point in history for bw there are NO VICTIMS only VOLUNTEERS. the name of the game is survival of the fittest. quite a few bfolks, both genders, are not fit for survival. i have reached a place of acceptance. those unfit for survival in the animal kingdom, where we live, perish. sobeit.

folks are quick to make excuses and point the fingers at bw when bmales socialized strictly by WOMEN on how to be men, go wrong. (it never ceases to amaze me that folks are shocked it went wrong. GOD never intended for any woman to do that! notice only bw are expected to...while the excuses flow for why the bmale involved can't lie in the bed he made for himself by doing the deed that was designed for procreation and treating it like it was meant for recreation. lol! i give up! i simply want the younger bw to stop with the madness and save themselves.)

focusedpurpose said...

yes, bw are ALSO not faring well in the judicial system. some of this is racism, just as with bm, and the rest is plain dumbness. which is the same with bm. if you comprehend what you read at my house, you will see that i STRONGLY urge bw to bolt in the OTHER DIRECTION as soon as she hears jail is a familiar place for the male in front of her. quite simply, one becomes the company they keep. keeping company with a jailbird...voila!

to the commenter that asked if the males on this thread have bothered to see/learn how men of self-respecting nations treat their women?

i don't think there would be any shame attached to the blatant disrespect of the mothers of the black nation. many bmales have ripped the page from the book of white supremacy and treat bw and bgs accordingly. look. see. i think there will simply be more excuses/blame shifting in a mad effort to avoid any type of personal responsibility or accountability. THIS is the recurring theme it seems at this blog.

for the commenter that reminded me that one cannot disrespect others...

yes. i don't ever forget that. thanks for the reminder nevertheless. now, consider if you will, that anyone telling the truth, without acting like they are addressing toddlers, is NOT speaking with disrespect. i was under the impression that there were only grown folks here, as such i spoke accordingly.

in closing, i will say this. i don't agree with much that is written here. i must say though, that reading it helps my perspective and efforts to address bw and bgs. it has been abundantly clear to me for awhile, that IF we are to be saved, we must save ourselves. help is NOT on the way. for this i thank you. it is my prayer that you guys will at some point focus your precious energies on saving yourselves.

blessings all,
focusedpurpose

Anonymous said...

FocusedPurpose "[doesn't] agree with much that is written here."

The reason that she disregards ACCURATE statistics and sound rationale here is because she is biased against male intelligence. Her pro-woman misogyny prevents her from seeing the truth about anti-male garbage from the female crew.

Women need to appreciate males. Make this your new year's resolution, you banshees!

PacMan

Anonymous said...

WOMEN = BIG MOUTHS!
WOMEN = CRANKY!
WOMEN = EVIL!

Anonymous said...

New law should require women to be placed on leashes to protect pedestrians from snarling, vicious attacks from the banshees!

PacMan

focusedpurpose said...

LOL @ "PacMan".

a little emotional maturity goes a long way...

Gen said...

Wow, well I typed an excellent response and somehow it got erased. I will try to make the points more concisely.

I am a female. I believe that neither side is really hearing each other and we are engaged in a silent screaming match.

BOTH sides have a lot of housecleaning to do.

Black men and women are hurting each other, because they are both in real pain.

Many Black men say that Black women always choose the thugs or men without character, and this is true in some respects. But Black men are no less guilty of partnering with no-quality women. Black men are just as guilty of passing over a quality woman because she doesn't look like Halle Berry, Gabrielle Union, or Beyonce.

Both sides need to mature and FAST. It takes a village to raise a child and we are letting our young men and women grow into materialistic, self-absorbed, narcissistic, irresponsible people.

The Black men that complain that Black women look at the wrong qualities are just as responsible for this. Those of you that are enlightened Black men, share a duty to hold our young and not so young Black men ACCOUNTABLE for their actions. Challenge your cousins, brothers, fathers, friends and cronies at the barber shop to be better. Don't cheer on these young men for being pimps and players. Too many of them are getting high fives for having multiple women (which means multiple sex partners). Stop condoning and even supporting this behavior. Teach these men to see women as valuable commodities. Teach them to see themselves the same way.

Many Black men don't even know how to act. They don't know how to open doors for a woman, how to speak with her, how to treat her like a lady. The men with money think all they have to do is spend some dough and she's all set. WRONG.

Teach your sons how to treat women, and teach your daughters how to have standards. And Black women aren't off the hook either. We need to stand up and challenge our sisters to be better. Stop talking about swagger, and start talking about intelligence, fortitude, and the FUTURE. In our culture, too many of us are so focused on me, myself and I. What kind of legacy are we leaving behind? Great clothes and cars? We aren't teaching our children the proper values, which include good character, integrity, emotional stability and responsibility (including financial).

I do value education and come from a family that's highly educated. But again, being educated doesn't guarantee a great career. In this current economic crisis, people with JD's, Ph.D's, master's and MD's are still finding themselves unemployed. So, we have to have backup plans. You can make $500,000 or $5 million dollars and still be broke if you lack financial fortitude and insight.

I could go on and on, but ultimately for us to come back together and be a strong community, we have to start with ourselves and pull each other up and stop all this silly bickering.

Anonymous said...

Gen (the last poster) may make a valid point but she is merely repeating what many men are saying here.

Women, as a result of the women's lib movement, condition their daughters to bully and argue. This is not only a black concern but a nationwide concern. Women increasingly dominate the workforce, politics, and families (especially single families).

Women need to behave as ladies in a relationship. That is what straight men seek - femininity. Slouching back on a chair, passing gas, and gulping down a Big Mac does not impress men.

Anonymous said...

I neglected to sign off as PacMan in my last post about the poster named Gen.

The women's liberation movement is to blame for this gender confusion. As many have already explained, if women want men, then women should not behave as men.

Feminists are damaged beyond repair banshees! And the category of feminists includes demanding, domineering women who believe that they should walk all over men!

BAM - you wicked banshees are now being called out!

PacMan

The Head Toucher said...

You guys are all very good at passing incredibly long string data types at eachother, and since i've got nothing to do at the moment, i think i'll join in.

Firstly, the level of maturity being shown in this 'diiscussion' is well...very low. I've yet to see someone put a simple analysis on the problem, come to an agreement about the root cause and decide a suitable course of action. I've heard some mighty fine rhetoric and some fantastic stat throwing and alot of 'look at this piece of paper white people gave me to tell me i'm smart.'. But no general consensus on a SOLUTION.

Allow me to guide you to some places where most of you will be rebuked for your idiocy:

http://theblackchannel.net/

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/the-black-authority

All of you 'intelligent' Black folk here should talk to the Intelligent Black people there.

So we can see how easy it is for 'Black intelligence with a PURPOSE' to make 'Black intelligence WITHOUT a PURPOSE' look stupid.

The Head Toucher said...

And a 'BLACK FIRST' to you all.

focusedpurpose said...

great, balanced, mature, comment Gen. thanks for sharing it.

yes...BOTH bm and bw must do better. stat.

blessings,
focusedpurpose

Anonymous said...

Zindzi (aka Black Girl Pain) said...
I'm also curious to know how many of the men here commenting on how women in other parts of the world live have actually LIVED in another part of the world. If BM could REALLY see the way men in other parts of the world behave and how they treat/respect their women, they'd be ashamed...or maybe they wouldn't.

===============================

That goes both ways, Zindzi. If BW could REALLY see how women in other parts of the world behave and how they respect/treat their men, they'd be ashamed...or maybe they wouldn't. I live in Europe part-time and can attest to it. In the year 2010, BW are no longer necessary.

Anonymous said...

Women are like wild dogs that snarl about everything.

PacMan