I just wanted to honor a beautiful sista who seems to me to be on the right track to empowering black women. She comes with wisdom, logic and love and is a great counter to the hateful rhetoric of the SSC. She has a forthcoming book entitled HEALING BLACK WOMANHOOD. Here are some words from her blog that caught my attention, especially the words I have highlighted in bold:
Why We Love Black Men
OOH! a simple, yet complex question huh? I posed it recently to sistahs via email as I was completing the final Honoring Black Manhood draft...now I know why I adore brothers but I wanted to hear what other sistahs had to say, some married, some single, most mothers....I got 3 replies! But a part of me wasn't even surprised by the non participation , see that's why I am writing the book AND the chapter in the first place....
I know we have issues with brothers but DAMN! 3 replies, well actually I got 6 responses ~ two from a sistah friend that asked her homegirls to reply and then one married sistah friend that replied to give her a minute cause her and her mate were beefin'.....I replied and told her LOVING Black men was deeper than her mate, what do we love about our fathers, our sons? Yeah we got work to do! but few of us admit it, we spend WAY too much time with this mentality that brothers are the only ones with issues....SHIT! The sooner we stop lying to ourselves the better .Everyone in our space,we attracted...Self Responsibility is a NECESSITY to self growth! There is no way around it.
Please check out the Change the Focus article on MyBrotha.com ~ It's a real sweet piece of improving relations between Black women and men. We have to change the focus sistahs! I think that's the one thing most agree on, is that our relationships need some repair. I'm convinced we can do it, but it's gonna take everyone, brothers can't do it by themselves and we can't do it by ourselves.....we gotta do the work! plain and simple.
Okay but back to brothers....Is it that we don't know why we love them? We definitely know what we don't like about them? I really think a grown ass woman should be able to articulate why she loves brothers but that's just me. If you've never thought about why you love Black men, take the question and run with it....think all the men in your life (past, present) What did you dig, respect, and adore about them? How did they make you a better woman? What did you learn about yourself thru them?
The refreshing news is that if I had sent a email out to brothers asking them why they love us, I bet I woulda got hella emails (mmm...that feels good) so why are they clear but we ain't? well, we can't stay stuck forever, if we serious about the preservation & progress of Black people we are going to have to answer the question sooner or later.
This is from another blog post:
It happened again...I was on the phone with a homegirl and the AIN'T NO GOOD BROTHERS conversation came up... here we go again were my thoughts, I quickly gave her my rehearsed speech about how that's not Divinely possible. If we trust that the Universe is abundant, why would there be good sistahs but no good brothers. She agreed!And this jewel:
It's so bad, it's almost funny! How so many sistahs say brothers need to step up! Personally, I think BLACK WOMEN NEED TO STEP UP! We need to take more responsibility for our role in relationships, The time we spend pointing the finger at brothers, we could be workin' on our own shit!
Honoring Black Manhood (Excerpt)Thankfully, there are plenty of sistas like her who are true examples of black womanhood. She has certainly gotten my attention.
There are beautiful Black men walking this planet. Dedicated courageous brothers who respect and love Black women. This world is full of humble, brilliant, spirited brothers who love God, family and community. Black men are strong, hard working, and worthy. I know brothers who love, protect and rear children. Our brothers are attentive fathers, loving husbands, and strong leaders. Sistahs, we have plenty of affectionate, sincere brothers among us. I know brothers who pray, listen, and meditate. We have plenty of brothers who love & raise children who are not biologically theirs. Yes, damn good Black men are alive and well