Friday, February 13, 2009

Blaming Black Men for Black women Straightening Their Hair.

Get Well Tameka.














Being that the Something Screwed Crew continually use various social issues as tools in their personal unshared war against black men, it was inevitable that the trend of black women perming/straightening their hair would become one of their lame weapons. Our friend Grata is among those using this excuse to further her disdain for black men. The discussion over on her blog is comical, yet exemplifies the mentality of those who pathologically must find some external scapegoats as opposed to looking within.

The discussion started with this very simple and simplistic statement referencing Chris Rock:

"Exactly. Why does he encourage his wife to wear weaves? If black men told black women their natural hair was ok, the women would be fine with it."
Now lets understand that apparently (or allegedly) Chris Rock's wife wears a weave. According to Grata, her wearing a weave automatically means that she is wearing it because he encourages her to do so. Now what contradicts this is the fact that Rock is currently doing a documentary on the pathology of hair perming. So I guess that Rock is trying to show every black woman, except for his wife, that perming is unnecessary. See how comical these folks are? If I said that if black women told black men that being intellectual was ok, the men would be fine with it, Grata and her cohorts would go ape crazy.

Now as I try to do often, I will attempt to show some research on the subject as opposed to the spouting of the flawed perceptions of a few black women who practically hate black men. What one will gather from the research is that among the reasons why black women perm their hair, the notion of appeasing black men's desires is near the bottom and often not even included. Typically, the easier manageability and the desire to conform to white standards for a professional look are the main reasons. This is explained here:

"For Black women who work in professional settings where they are frequently the racial minority, deciding on a hairstyle -- a presumably simple and personal decision -- is both a constrained choice and a formidable dilemma.21 Black women frequently must choose between hairstyles that conform to the norms and expectations of their White colleagues or hairstyles that are central to their African-American, African, Caribbean, or other racial or ethnic identities. This choice is complicated because in our society, long straight hair has generally been considered the gold standard for attractiveness,22 and the expectation of a straight conservative hairstyle is clearly present in corporate organizations."23

And here's more:

"Although there are probably many reasons why Black women choose to conform to dominant aesthetic standards in the workplace, we argue that Black women conform primarily because they seek to minimize the perception that they are different from their colleagues and because they want to avoid the pitfalls of stereotyping. Moreover, by conforming, they can preserve their professional images, avoid negative career consequences, and fit in with their colleagues. A Black woman's choice of hairstyle plays a part in obtaining such conformity."
And this goody:

"Although a direct causal relationship can not be explicitly established, it is likely that the popularity of chemically relaxed hair persists among Black women because of perceptions of the ease of hair maintenance, prevailing norms of beauty, and the popular belief that long straight hair is more attractive than tightly-curled hair."31
So as you can see, there is no reference to what black men desire. For anyone who has observed life, it is quite apparent that women are less influenced by men with regard their attire and look than the reverse. More women today have tattoos than men, yet I doubt that many men have expressed a sexual preference for tattooed women. Black women are more and more getting tattoos on their arms and necks, yet I doubt that these are done to attract men.

It has been said in the past that men dress to impress women while women dress to impress other women. Such ideas also apply to women and hair. Consider that at any hair show, the majority in the audience are women and gay men. And most of the guys realize that in manly discussions of physically desirable women, what you hear discussed are butts, breasts, thighs, lips and faces. Hair rarely comes up. Any guy who says that he would turn down a fine, pretty woman because he dislikes her natural hair would immediately be suspected of being gay. Now lets take a look at history:

Pam "Foxy Brown" Grier is one of history's most desirable black women. In her heyday, it was quite common for her to sport an Afro. Did this in any way turn black men off from her? Of course not. Black men TODAY look photos like this and still drool over her.

Was anyone turned off from 'Thelma" with this look. Hell naw! Most of us love her.

And guys. How many of you would be turned off from this young lady due to her hairstyle?


The answer is quite apparent. ZERO.

Now lets read some opinions from other, more sensible bloggers. From Stuff Black People Hate:

"Men are particularly prone to accidentally setting off the straight-haired woman because, unless you don’t have any hair, we’re perfectly happy no matter what the hair looks like - so we don’t really pay attention. We don’t give a shit if you wear it up or down, or feather your bangs (whatever the hell that means), or put it in a french twist (whatever the hell that means). All we care about is that a.) the hair is there, b.) it’s not a wig, and c.) it’s free of dirt, insects, food, and stank. Save your $150 and buy some friggin’ crotchless thong panties for us to rip off instead. Dammit."

Lets hear from Claudette Jameson:

"I can’t stand it when black women who are “napptural” and proud think that they need to put down, or assume that women with relaxed, weaved, or textured hair have something wrong with them. That they are denying their black roots. I believe that they are actually celebrating and uplifting them just as much as a black woman with natural hair. I don’t know if you realize it or not, but an African American (can’t think of the name right now) did invent the relaxer. Lacefront wigs are usually handmade by black stylist. Beverly Johnson does have her own line of hair. Do all of these people have complexes as well?"

"I’m getting tired of this. I LOVE MY RELAXED HAIR!!! I’m not doing it for no man, because I hate my natural hair texture, or because I was brainwashed by some white folks. I’m doing it for me, and to make me happy. Why don’t ya’ll get on people who dye their hair too? They not staying true to their natural hair color. This is ridiculous!!! Why can’t black women be free to love their hair, no matter what style it’s in, without the blacklash?"

16 comments:

RainaHavock said...

I'm going to add my own two cents about this so called "Black men want black women to perm their hair" fable. I went natural about 6 months ago and will be getting my dreadlocks done tomorrow.(So excited) Anyway I told all my guy friends including my then boyfriend and brother that I was getting dreadlocks and all of them were for it! In fact one of them said I got 200 extra cool points for getting my hair in dreads.XD But I digress. I'm not going to salon and paying this woman so amount of money so the guys on campus will notice me. I'm doing it because I want my hair to be healthy(perms just don't really agree with me)and I've always loved dreadlocks. Plus I'm a college student and they're easier to keep up then styling my hair every morning.

Rocky said...

I bet you look great with your dreads.

RainaHavock said...

Thanks I might just post pictures showing my progress as I grow them out.

Ebony Intuition said...

Great post, Im tired of people who use those excuses too.

"I can’t stand it when black women who are “napptural” and proud think that they need to put down, or assume that women with relaxed, weaved, or textured hair have something wrong with them. "

I can't stand it either, my hair is natural but i don't go around ridicule and throwing slurs at women who perm, weave etc. Because I weave my hair and I should have the freedom to do what i want with my hair, and personaly the way i wear my hair does not eliminate men being attracted to me.

check out my post i did on natural vs perm debates, notice in the comment section people making excuses towards women who choose to perm and or weave.

http://ebonyintuition.blogspot.com/2009/02/natural-hair-does-not-equal-healthy.html

Also this was the first time i've ever had so much people comment on my blog, goes to show you how people will spend more time debating on a bw's hair then more important issues like health, family, education etc.

Alot of women who are natural feel more threanted by women who choose to be more versitile with their hair. Thats my personaly opinion based on my own experience.

Una Persona said...

You are right, most of the crap women do to "look good" is to compete with other women or just because they feel like it (comfort, ease, whatever). Usually women do not pay much attention to advice from heterosexual men regarding clothes or hair because they think they don't know what they are talking about.

A good example of how much importance women put in other's womens opinions can be found in the Middle East. In Arab societies where they aren't allowed to show themselves to any men other than their husbands and immediate male family members they wear more make up and do more shit to themselves than any other women, they also love the flashiest and skimpiest clothing - and this is just to go to parties where all the other guests are female.

"Now what contradicts this is the fact that Rock is currently doing a documentary on the pathology of hair perming."

Ignoring the big picture or the full story is their specialty. They love taking things out of context to prove their (false) points.

Andrew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Andrew said...

This whole debate about black men views on black women hair.

I really think it's all hot hair. Most black women go to bed with a scarf on their head. Right, you think black men is saying damn perm your hair during sex. Not really, black women change their hair so much because they just feel like it.

Out of all the debates I have had with black women. This one is one of the most unnecessary ones.

I really don't think black men worry about your hair.

Most black men look at your body. 99 percent of the time and your face let me include that lol.

realitysurfer said...

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Truth B. Told said...

At one point the Something Screwed Crew even accused black men of shaving their heads bald because we are ashamed of our "nappy natural".

Once again they were projecting their insanity on us.

Rocky said...

Truth. I guess that black men can blame black women for them shaving their heads. According to their logic, if black women told black men that their natural hair was fine, they would stop shaving their heads.

Rocky said...

Una persona. The example of the Arab women is a great example. And Andrew. You are right. Brothas ain't into the bed mate wearing curlers.

Rocky said...

How many men care about the purses their women own? NONE. This doesn't stop them from spending hundreds on them.

Anonymous said...

I'm a black man and I wish more bw would wear their natural and be comfortable with it. Straitening your hair is another form of self-hate in my opinion.

I saw a reality called "Split Ends" about hair stylist exchanging salons. In the ghetto salon there was this bw getting her weave done. When she took her weave off she had this long thick Diana Ross type hair and looked absolutely gorgeous. Too bad the ugly yellow weave had to go back on again.

Una Persona said...

"At one point the Something "Screwed Crew even accused black men of shaving their heads bald because we are ashamed of our "nappy natural".

Once again they were projecting their insanity on us."


That is hilarious, thay have truly twisted logic.

Anonymous said...

arent you one of hp's minions Ebony Intuition ?

Anonymous said...

hI have just decided to go natural and it has made hair care soooo easy. Its just soo versatile and I think we as a people have forgotten just how easy it is. Saying that it would be great if more black men like the ones on this blog to voice their love of black women. Its always the negative that gets highlighted and often its the small minority of black men with self hatred issues (not those who are genuinely in love with someone of another race) that give the rest a black name. As a trainee lawyer (one of only two black girls in a firm of white people) I do feel afraid of whether my hair would be considered some kind of political statement (I have attended office ettiquette seminars where a picture of black women with natural hair were posted and described as unatural...along with miniskirts in the office!!!). But anyway I transgress. Thank you for holding your side of the argument. As a black woman who was brought up being told by her mother to marry a white man because they treat women better I found a beautiful west african man like myself who has fulfilled me. The beauty of our coupling never ceases to amaze me and I never tire of supporting him in his career (he is an investment banker who works long hours). We will one day go back to west africa and bring with us all the experiences we have learned here business wise an invest in OUR country and OUR continent because as Malcom X said you can only be accepeted on your own terms. And that does not happen while we are still made to feel insecure for our race in a white man's world. As an African I say to all other black, you have a home with us. We have so mcuh to learn from you in regards to better modernising our continent and you have so much to learn from us about our glourious pasts and pasts kingdoms. :)