It seems that the majority of those black female bloggers who are intent on demeaning black men do so under the guise of promoting interracial relationships between black women and non-black men, with the far strongest emphasis placed on relationships with white men. What it truly seems is that the idea of dating and marrying white men is more of a tool for them as opposed to an actual interest. In other words, they seem to want to chase white men not so much because they are drawn to them, but because they feel that it is some type of payback for the perceived mistreatment they have received from black men. It is some type of weird revenge fantasy for them to try and promote a lame movement inspired by the movie "Something New".
Another tool that they attempt to use is the "colorism" that has existed in the African American community for decades. They make effort to try to find any behavior that can be connected to black men and can be perceived as negative and then attempt to exploit that behavior to further their agenda. They don't seek to get a true understanding of "colorism", but rather distort it to the point of making black men appear as damaged as possible. People like Esha "Evia" Moore continuously proclaim that black men practice racism against black women by pursuing black women whose features and complexions are closer to being white.
The problem with this is that this promotes the idea that light skinned black women are not members of the black race/community. How can a man be racist against black women for pursuing a specific type of black woman? That's like saying that since black women are noted for having large, round buttocks, a black man who prefers black women with flat butts is being racist against black women.
They also claim that black men are seeking women who are as close to white as possible, with a pure white woman being their ultimate goal. This is very much contradicted by the fact that one of the popular mixtures of women that black men are commonly attracted to is the black and Asian mixture. In this case, white is totally out of the picture, yet women of such mixture are popular in Hip Hop videos and the like. The truth is that those black men who like mixed black women are not liking the notion of them being closer to being white, but rather like the mixture itself. That is why Kanye West said that men like "mutts". Many men see a certain exoticness when it comes to mixed women and these same men would not see that same exoticness in a typical white woman.
Another thing about this "Something New Crew" is that much of their arguments are based on their alleged personal experiences and expressed personal perceptions. Perceptions are far from facts. One's experiences do not equate to another's experiences. The most objective information comes from actual research and when research supports their claims, they cite such research. The problem is that research rarely supports their many claims and they thus try to proclaim such research as unreliable. For example, Ken and Mamie Clark did a survey of black men for Ebony Magazine some years back and the results showed that 30% of black men preferred lighter skinned women (15% of black women preferred light skinned men). Now while 30% is a significant number, the fact remains that 70% of black men expressed not preferring lighter skinned women. This contradicts the repeated falsehood that MOST black men desire lighter skinned women.
Do lighter skinned black women have an advantage. Probably. Taller men have an advantage over shorter men. This doesn't mean that shorter men are being "discriminated" against and are not being loved and cherished by women. A simple walk through any black neighborhood will reveal black females of all shapes and sizes as well as ALL complexions walking hand in hand with their black male companions and this includes our beautiful darker sistas.
There is irony related to the notion of dating and marrying white men in response to black men's "colorism". What would almost always be the result of a marriage between a black woman and a white man? LIGHT SKINNED CHILDREN. Roughly half of such children will be female, thus their retaliation for black men's alleged "colorism" is to create more redbones and high yellow females for future colorstruck brothas to pursue. It's really laughable.
8 comments:
Hey Rocky it's me Indeepwonder. Excellent first entry. I just put my blog up let me know what's up.
This is very biased and refuses to accept and look at the historical context of colorism within the black community and how it affects the black community to this day.
Black women are the only ones complaining about this Dark VS Light BS. Black women are also the ones who dish out what they complain about. Black women who have dark skin skin do not want to be with brothers who have dark skin, because they feel that their children will end up being too dark.
I agree with Siditty that your comment is very biased. Your comment was also trying to make light of a ongoing situation that isn't to be taken very lightly at all.
Medivevil, maybe the reason Black women 'complain' the most has do with the fact that she tends to be the one primarily affected by this issue; as a dark skinned black woman she knows first hand how nasty people were to her because of her dark color. I dated a dark skinned black man [like myself], and I got tired of hearing him say nasty things to me about my dark skin. He would tell me to use some skin lightening cream or stay out of the sun because I don't want to get darker. He told me the main reason he found me attractive is because I have long hair and because of my small facial features, ie, small thin lips and a small straight nose. Whenever we would go out together he would salivate when he saw light skinned black women or white women as we passed by them. I kicked his butt out because he had too many issues with color. I'm happily married a white man who loves me just the way I am, dark & lovely.
What a piece of crap this blog is. You talk about how "a small majority" of black women generalize black men when you yourself are generalizing these women with your lies.
If you're attacked while petting a pitbull, are you going to pet that same dog again? This is NOT to say all pitbulls are the same; but you will more than likely pet the golden retriever next time.
I have dated black, white, hispanic, unknown mixed, aetheist, muslim, etc... and I lean towards who treats me best. Don't come at me with an "I want a harem" or "I am a king" attitude or "I can do what I want to do but you can't" - I'm not having it (my experieces; I know it does not apply to all bm).
My fiancee is white - he's a beautiful work of God that adores me and I love him equally. We have been together over a year and I am happier with him than I ever have been in my life. I love him for the heart he has, his inner strength, and his mind. Revenge is an idiotic concept on which to base your weak opinion. If the men of my past had treated me as well, then I would be with them now, wouldn't I? Only a weak-minded person would align love with matching skin color instead of an expansion of horizons.
Anonymous said...
What a piece of crap this blog is. You talk about how "a small majority" of black women generalize black men when you yourself are generalizing these women with your lies.
First off, you can't prove that anything I say is a "lie". At least I back what I say up with facts, figures and research. I don't just make things up like you and your cohorts.
If you're attacked while petting a pitbull, are you going to pet that same dog again? This is NOT to say all pitbulls are the same; but you will more than likely pet the golden retriever next time.
Would you agree that this is why you see black men with non-black women? And lots of black women love "pit bulls". That is why "pit bulls" are so abundant.
I have dated black, white, hispanic, unknown mixed, aetheist, muslim, etc... and I lean towards who treats me best. Don't come at me with an "I want a harem" or "I am a king" attitude or "I can do what I want to do but you can't" - I'm not having it (my experieces; I know it does not apply to all bm).
Seems to me that what is most prevalent is the "I am a queen" attitude and it is women who promote behavioral double standards.
My fiancee is white - he's a beautiful work of God that adores me and I love him equally. We have been together over a year and I am happier with him than I ever have been in my life. I love him for the heart he has, his inner strength, and his mind.
How do I know that you are engaged? How do I know that you are not lying through your teeth?
Revenge is an idiotic concept on which to base your weak opinion. If the men of my past had treated me as well, then I would be with them now, wouldn't I? Only a weak-minded person would align love with matching skin color instead of an expansion of horizons.
So talk to all of your cohorts who claim to prefer white men. Hypocrite.
Don't blame your darkness for your man troubles. Blame your attitude and insecurities. Remedy this and you will find someone who likes you instead of fabricating some imaginary white fiancée.
sir you have a right to believe what you want, but the truth is it's sour grapes. Somewhere you obviously lost out to a white man for a woman's affections. And I say woman, not woman of color because women are women. It seems to me you're the only one taking issue with color. Very insecure, almost childlike. Like it or not more and more women are going to rate the love of their life by loyalty not peer pressure. The be with me, be like me or you're nothing attitude only serves to solidified the direction the world is heading. Women no longer settle. They want to be loved. And if they turn to me is a wonderful thing. Because I will treat them as they deserve to be treated. The fact you have his blog at all is one reason why the world is heading in the direction it is. You can drive and do drive love away with the betraying the race line of crap you feed. The fact is the women are getting more and more educated every day. And the more and more they will refuse to deny their hearts. So thank you.
Rocky,
Your blog is not convincing. You will lose out to Evia or any BWE (black women empowerment) bloggers out there. Because they're telling the truth. You prove their point by illustrating just how black men condone colorism amongst themselves in mate selection. As others said, you did not address why colorism is a problem. You clearly don't care how this hurts black women. You just dismiss it as a harmless "preference." You’re selfish. You’re so caught up in “facts and figures,” you can’t see the forest from the trees. A scholarly study is not necessary to convince black women just how messed up black men are. Personal experiences are important. And the thing is, the reason why Evia’s and other female bloggers anecdotal stories are so persuasive, is because millions of other black women have the SAME experiences. You’re a typical male; thinking that everything has to be done scientifically when you’re missing the point.
I see some racism within you. You even had the nerve to question whether “Anonymous” was engaged. Why does she have to PROVE that she’s engaged? How would she? We’re online for crying out loud. What does she have to do? Reach over through the monitor and show you her ring? Why are you doubtful of that? Is it because you think black women can’t be engaged and valued by non-black men? Are you insinuating that she’s worthless? Your low estimation of black women is showing.
By the way, BWE blogs encouraging black women to marry out is NOT about getting back at black men. How conceited of you to think so. It’s not about you. It’s about working for our own self-interest as women. As people. We have every right to find happiness and it doesn’t have to be with black men. Are there good black men out there? A few. They’re a dying breed. And FYI a good black man does not condone gendered racism. They do not excuse it as just a “preference.” Unfortunately genuinely good black men, NON-COLORSTRUCK black men, are rare. And you’re not one of them.
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